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Signup Date: September 26, 2019

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10/14/2019 

Livin' with Kathie Lee and Kelly Ripa

This is a parody

This is my follow up to the Kathie Lee Gifford vs. Kelly Ripa story

It's been a very fun few months since Kelly Ripa and I moved in with Kathie Lee Gifford. Both women are gorgeous... both are good cooks... both are sweet and treat me great... and both are awesome fucks. It's been sex-o-rama uncensored, every day, since we all moved in together. Kathie Lee's dominant side has been especially fun to watch. She loves to dominate Kelly. Kathie Lee Gifford is one very hot and very talented dominatrix.

I walked into the kitchen the other day and Kathie Lee was sitting in a chair, at the table, in her dominatrix outfit... latex bodysuit, with her tits, pussy and ass exposed, knee high boots and riding crop... and Kelly was nude and on her knees, eating vanilla cake frosting out of Kathie Lee's mature, bushy pussy. I stood and watched. Kathie Lee saw me and winked. She blew me a big kiss, as I got a piece of cake, still watching her dominate Kelly.

Kelly's tongue licked quickly and slid in and out of Kathie Lee's bushy twat. The frosting coated Kelly's tongue, softened by the wet and warm cunt of the one and only Kathie Lee Gifford. Kelly saw me and smiled, making sure to show me her frosting coated tongue, before she eagerly swallowed the gooey vanilla frosting. Kelly smacked her lips, after she swallowed, and blew me a kiss.

I ate my cake and smiled, enjoying the show. Kathie Lee smacked Kelly's tight little booty with her riding crop. "Ahhh... Mmmmmmmm." Kelly was happily surprised by the booty smack, smiling, moaning and wiggling her sweet, petite booty. Kathie Lee smacked Kelly's ass again... she rubbed the riding crop softly across Kelly's booty and smacked it again. "YESSSSSSSSS... I LOVE IT MISTRESS... PLEASE GIVE ME MORE MISTRESS!!" Kelly loves being dominated by Kathie Lee.

"You like that huh?... Good. You're my bitch, blondie... now finish licking my gorgeous pussy clean, so James can fuck it!" Kathie Lee demanded, leaning back in the chair, her legs spread wide, looking at me, smiling, rubbing her hard, pulsating clit. Kelly licked out all of the frosting, letting a big glob of it rest on her tongue, showing me, then gulping it down, smacking those sexy, wet lips for me.

I finished my cake and grabbed a beer, chugging half of it down. I pulled my cock out and walked over to Kelly. I smacked her tight ass and squeezed it, drawing very sexy moans from the beautiful blonde. She finished eating the icing from Kathie Lee's mature cunt, so I grabbed her head and pulled it to my hard cock. I let my cock rub her lips. Kelly stuck out her pink tongue and licked the bulbous head, as it rubbed across her glistening lips.

I handed the beer to Kathie Lee, who took a swig, then she reached over and poured the rest on my cock and Kelly's tongue. Kelly smiled and licked the beer from my cock, her tongue slowly licking up and down the sides and under the head... quickly licking my sensitive underside, kissing my head, smiling, knowing how much I loved it.

Kelly sucked half of my cock in, slowly suctioning up and down my thick shaft, twisting her way further down my cock, looking up at me with those beautiful eyes, desperately wanting to please me... and knowing she was.

I let Kelly do the work, sucking further down on my throbbing erection. She softly massaged my big balls, grasping them, rolling them in her hand. Kelly's blonde head bobbed quickly, up and down my shaft. I could feel my impending cum, but I wanted to fuck Kathie Lee first, so I pulled out of Kelly's mouth... she didn't wanna let go, her lips tightly wrapped around my precum leaking cock. I pulled away from her beautiful, precum glossed lips and bent down, sliding my rock hard cock up Kathie Lee's wet pussy. She moaned as I entered her... her right hand reaching up rubbing my face.

I fucked Kathie Lee deep and slowly at first, stretching that mature cunt, groaning at how good it felt, as I fucked it. "Yes baby... give mama that big, beautiful cock of yours. YESSSSSSSSS... FUCK ME JAMESSSSSSSS!!" Kathie Lee rubbed my face, softly smacking it, as Kelly spread my cheeks and rimmed my ass. Both felt so fucking good. Kelly licked my anus, as I plunged deeper into Kathie Lee's auburn haired pussy. I fucked her harder, my cock twitching inside her.

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" Kathie Lee squirted all over my throbbing, smiling cock. Kelly reached a hand around me and rubbed Kathie Lee's wet labia, pulling her hand back and tasting her mistress' pussy cum. Kelly slid her tongue up my ass and wiggled it. I pounded Kathie Lee's stretched out cunt, fucking her at hyper speed. I squeezed her perfect, natural tits, her milk oozing between my fingers. Kelly squeezed my balls and rubbed them, as she wiggled that talented tongue of hers in my ass.

I fucked Kathie Lee faster and faster, stretching and plunging up her bushy cunt, so fucking hard. "FUCK ME JAMESSSSSSSS... I LOVE YOUR BIG FUCKING COCKKKKKKKKK!!" Kathie Lee squirted again... right as I pumped my load of jizz up my woman's cunt... a mutual BIG O. I watched Kathie Lee, as she shot her pussy nut all over my cumming cock.

Kelly reached her head between my legs. I pulled out of Kathie Lee, and Kelly immediately grabbed my still cumming cock and sucked it, drinking down the last of my cream, fingering my ass... and Kathie Lee's too. Kelly sucked me dry and went to work on Kathie Lee's pussy, licking out my cum and Kathie Lee's as well, as she fingered Mistress Kathie Lee's gorgeous ass. Kathie Lee moaned and writhed in her chair, playing with Kelly's hair.

I spent the next half hour sucking on Kathie Lee's milk squirting tits. Kelly ate Kathie Lee's cunt through two more orgasms, as I pulled her thick, milf nipples with my teeth, licking the tips, then letting them snap back, sucking so fucking hard on her nipples and tits, softly biting them, sucking out mouthfuls of sweet milk, drinking it down, as Kathie Lee screamed in delight, and hugged my head to her magnificent milk jugs.

I assfucked Kathie Lee and Kelly after that. I pounded those sweet asses super hard for an hour. They both came three times. I squeezed Kathie Lee's titties, squirting her milk all over Kelly, who sucked Kathie Lee's world class milf tits, swallowing that delicious milk. Kathie Lee was on all fours on top of Kelly. Kelly's legs were on my shoulders. I would switch between asses, my thick cock plunging deep, stretching both famous asses super wide. Both ladies screamed in pleasure, kissing. Kelly would spread Kathie Lee's booty cheeks wide for me. Kelly squeezed them, as I butt thumped her mistress.

I came in Kelly's ass. Kathie Lee ate my jizz out of Kelly's tight booty, as Kelly grinned super wide.

Kathie Lee assfucked Kelly with a huge strapon, as I pissed I Kelly's wide open mouth. Kelly moaned and smiled up at me, as she drank down my warm piss. Kelly sucked on my thick head, guzzling down all of my piss and sucking my cock, as Kathie Lee smacked... and thumped her sweet, tight booty. I jizzed in Kelly's mouth, as she came for the second time. "DRINK MY MAN'S JIZZ YOU FUCKING WHORE...DRINK EVERY FUCKING DROP SLUT!!" Kathie Lee ordered. Kelly happily obeyed, swallowing every drop of jizz I pumped into her, hard sucking mouth.

The next day, in the elevator, leaving Kathie Lee's show...

"OK slave, open your coat!" Kathie Lee ordered Kelly.

"Yes mistress." Kelly opens her fur coat... she was nude underneath.

Kathie Lee hit the stop button on the elevator and looked at the old guy who operated it.

"George... pull out your cock... NOW!" Kathie Lee ordered, winking at me. I was against the wall, with Kathie Lee's pregnant co host, Hoda Kotb, in front of me. I was playing with her very nice, caramel titties, through her brown, sleeveless blouse. Hoda's very short black mini skirt was bunched around her waist and my hard cock was sitting still in her mature, caramel twat. Hoda was slowly grinding on my cock, fucking herself with it. It felt fucking great. I pulled Hoda's top and brown bra off pulled her very thick brown nipples, shooting her milk at Kathie Lee.

Kathie Lee came over and sucked on Hoda's swollen, brown nipples, letting Hoda's milk dribble out of the corners of her mouth. I rubbed Hoda's thick clit, as she grinded faster on my cock. "OH MY GOD!!" Hoda screamed out, cumming all over my big cock, playing with Kathie Lee's dark blonde hair, as she sucked down Hoda's milk. I started fucking Hoda hard, so turned on by Kathie Lee sucking her milk filled tits, and by Hoda grinding on my rock fucking hard cock, in her pussy.

Kathie Lee rubbed her co host's pregnant belly, as she half drank, half spilled, Hoda's milk. I kissed Hoda's sweet, cherry red lips, and fucked her caramel twat, with intense, lust driven force. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... I'M CUMMMMMMINGGGGGGG!!" Hoda squirted again.

Kathie Lee licked her lips and went back to Kelly, as I kept fucking Hoda. "Kneel whore!"

"Yes Mistress." Kelly obeyed, going to her knees, meekly waiting for her next instruction.

Kathie Lee grabbed George's big, old cock and stroked it. "Very nice George... do a good job and I might try this out myself." Kathie Lee jerked the fat cock, til it got hard. She winked at me again and blew me a kiss. Hoda was screaming in ecstasy, cumming again, as I plowed her pussy as hard as possible. I Ieaned my head around her sides and sucked each milk filled tit, licking all over them, sucking them insanely hard, drinking down every delicious drop of Hoda's milk.

Kathie Lee pulled George's old cock to Kelly's sweet mouth. She rubbed it on Kelly's ruby red, pursed lips. Kelly awaited further instructions from her mistress.

I watched, smiling, as I pulled out of Hoda's bushy, brown hair pussy and slid slowly up her tight, milf booty. "Oh my God that feels so good... Fuck my ass James... Uhhhhhhhh... Mmmmmmmmmm!!" I slowly fucked Hoda's nicely toned, tight, caramel booty. My big ass white cock spread that shapely ass wide, driving up that warm, tight booty slowly, deeply. I squeezed her swollen titties hard, squirting milk everywhere, while I booty banged Hoda a little faster.

Kelly was now sucking George's big cock, her ruby red lipstick smeared all over the plump shaft. Kathie Lee came over and we kissed. I rubbed her wet pussy with my left hand, as I booty thumbed Hoda through another squirt. Hoda came four times from my anal pounding, screaming happily the whole time.

Kathie Lee was nude under her fur coat, just like Kelly, so it made for easy access for my hand. I fingered her bushy, mature twat, as fast as possible, while we kissed. I finally cum blasted Hoda's ass, overflowing it with my cum. I pulled out, and my jizz poured out, of Hoda's tight booty. Hoda turned around and knelt before me, eagerly sucking my happy cock clean.

Kathie Lee played with my balls, as we kissed, and as I fingered her pussy so ridiculously, fucking fast. Kathie Lee moaned and came all over my fingers. I pulled them out and she slowly sucked my fingers clean, as she looked lustfully right at me. Hoda sucked my, still hard cock, really fast, her head bobbing rapidly on my 10 thick inches. I kissed Kathie Lee, tasting her sweet juices, molesting her tongue with mine.

Kelly was sucking George off insanely fast, her blonde head flying up and down that big, old shaft. She tickled his big, hairy, old balls, looking up at him, with that sweet, innocent, but super sexy Kelly Ripa look. George groaned, holding Kelly's head. Kathie Lee pushed Kelly's head down all the way on George's big cock. Kelly gagged slightly, drooling out the corners of her mouth. "Shoot your wad down her fucking throat George... DO IT NOW!!" Kathie Lee commanded. George grunted loud and pumped his wad down Kelly's throat. Kelly swallowed hard and fast. I watched her throat suck it all down.

"Good boy George." Kathie Lee pulled George's cum dripping cock from Kelly's throat.

"Open up whore!" Kathie Lee ordered Kelly. Kelly opened up and Kathie Lee spit in her mouth. Kelly swallowed with a smile.

Kathie Lee bent over and sucked George's old cock clean, sucking hard on the plump head, drinking down every last drop of cum. Kelly sucked his hairy balls, as Kathie Lee made sure she sucked out every drop of jizz in them. Kathie Lee kissed Kelly. They both licked and sucked George's, now soft, cock.

Hoda sucked out a big load of jizz from my cock. She pumped my shaft, as she sucked out every last drop. Hoda eagerly drank down every drop, moaning her taste approval, looking up at me and smiling around my thick shaft. She tickled my balls and I let loose with my piss. "Mmmmmmmmmmm." Hoda happily drank down my warm piss, smiling so big the whole time. I pulled out and pissed all over her face and tits. Kathie Lee and Hoda came over. I pissed all over them also. I pissed in all three ladies open mouths. They smiled and swallowed, kissing each other, as I pissed on their faces.

It was another great sex day with my women. Hoda came home with us and spent the night. I fucked her ass and pussy again. Kathie Lee pissed in Hoda's mouth, as she strapon booty banged Kelly. Hoda pissed all over Kelly, squatting on her beautiful face, sucking Kathie Lee's strapon. I filmed it all.

Kathie Lee dominates Kelly every day. They both get off on it. We will three have a fucking fun time fucking and sucking our perverted brains out. It's awesome... Livin' With Kathie Lee And Kelly.

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10/14/2019 

Kathie Lee Gifford vs Kelly Ripa

It's a fuck parody... It ain't real

"Why is this bitch here James? You know I hate her. She took my job and she's a puny little twat." Kathie Lee asks me... upset she's sitting mere feet from her arch enemy.

"Puny little twat? Where'd you learn that one grandma?" Kelly... pissed off.

"Why would you wanna fuck her anyway? She's a walking STD advertisement." Kathie Lee puts her hand up, between the two.

"Coming from the biggest slut ever on TV... HA!" Kelly, looking away, evil smile.

"The only reason Regis hired you, is because he wanted a little blonde Italian whore on his "I Fucked Her" resume." Kathie Lee gives Kelly the finger.

"He hired me because he was tired of your floppy pancake titties and I could actually suck his cock without gagging every two seconds... and inches... and I SWALLOW!" Kelly looking right at Kathie Lee, cocky grin on her sexy face.

"Yeah... you've taken in more semen than the Navy... and what would you know about pancake titties? Or titties in general? You have the chest of an 8 year old boy... Bitch!" Kathie Lee angrily.

"Skank!" Kelly angry.

I was beginning to think this wasn't a good idea. I brought in Kathie Lee Gifford and Kelly Ripa to do a porno with me... Kind of a mature hottie vs not quite mature hottie... who took her job. That part was the problem... I was hoping it would give the movie a hot edge... but I was beginning to think it was gonna give me an aneurysm instead.

"We all know how much James likes me Ripa... look at his stories... I'm in pretty much all of them. You've been in one... and he didn't even fuck you in it. HA!" Kathie Lee looks at me, blows me a big kiss.

"You do know we fuck "off camera" all the time? HA... HA... HA!!" Kelly looks at her fingernails... smiling.

"You better go get checked James... who knows what you've caught from the President of the Genital Warts Fan Club." Kathie Lee, looking away in disgust.

"Ladies, you need to please cool down on the insults and genital whatever stuff... I brought you two here today to have some fun. Can we please relax and fuck?" Me, trying to calm everyone down and get them to stay focused on the fucking.

"Sure thing sweetie pie... but granny Gifford needs to chill on her jealousy bitch trip. I'm more talented than her... younger... hotter... a better singer." Kelly smirks.

"Better singer? Bitch, the only thing coming out of your mouth is the gallons of jizz dumped in there every damn day." Kathie Lee says, crossing her arms... looking frustrated and angry.

"I told you grandma... I swallow." Kelly winks at Kathie Lee... smirks again... reveling in pissing off Kathie Lee.

"Here... let's have a drink... God knows I need it." I pour us all some scotch and desperately hope they both get drunk... so they will shut the fuck up.

We drink a few drinks and the mood lightens a little. Kelly unbuttons a couple of buttons on her tight, white blouse. Kathie Lee sees it and shakes her head. She mutters, "Bitch" under her breath, as she looks away.

"You like my small titties... don't you James?" Kelly asks... slowly rubbing two fingers across her white bra, smiling a very sexy smile.

"Yes... they are cute... taste good too." I rub my cock through my suit pants.

Kelly watches and opens her blouse all the way... looking over at Kathie Lee, smirking... then looking back at me... blowing me a kiss. Kelly unhooks her bra in the front, then takes off her blouse and bra. She stretches her arms, making sure to push her small chest out at me.

"On my God... you don't have the ammo to turn on James like that... Watch and learn bitch!" Kathie Lee slowly unbuttons her white blouse, looking at me, her lips pursed, blowing me kisses. She pulls open her blouse, pushing out her 36D mature titties. I immediately get hard. Kathie Lee notices and reaches over (I'm siting on the edge of my desk) and rubs my huge bulge in my pants.

Kathie Lee unzips my pants and pulls out my hard 10 inches. She slowly strokes it, blowing me a big kiss. She flips off Kelly, then leans back in her chair taking off her clothes. She leaves her bra for last. My huge, hard cock shakes by itself. Kelly sits in her chair, her arms crossed, a very frustrated look on her beautiful face. Kathie Lee sees her and smirks.

She takes off her bra and tosses it at Kelly. "Look at what real tits actually look like bitch!" Kathie Lee plays with her gorgeous, only slightly saggy, mature tits for me. Kelly throws Kathie Lee's bra across my office, watching everything with a disgusted look. Kathie Lee pulls her hard nipples, rubbing the tips, looking right at me, blowing me a kiss. FUCK YEAH... this is more like it. Kathie Lee squeezes her tits, pulling her pulsating nipples. Her sweet milk dribbles out. I go to her, and suck her hard nipples, drinking that sweet milk so eagerly, so fucking turned on by this gorgeous mature goddess.

Kathie Lee hugs my head to her awesome chest. I alternate tits, sucking both happily, softly chewing on the nipples as I suck out that wonderful milk. I lick Kathie Lee's nipples pulling them hard with my teeth, she moans. I stuff almost her whole breast in my mouth and suck so happily on it... moving from one perfect breast to the other.

Kathie Lee smirks at Kelly... "You see how it's done? Now get over here and suck one of my titties while James sucks the other... NOW!!" Kathie Lee takes charge of Kelly. I keep sucking, while Kelly licks her lips, as she watches me drinking down Kathie Lee's sweet milk. "I SAID NOW BITCH!!" Kelly obeys, sucking Kathie Lee's right breast, as I suck the left.

Kelly softly holds Kathie Lee's D cup, with both hands and licks the hard nipple quickly, looking at Kathie Lee lovingly... admitting her submission to the mature goddess. Kelly sucks hard on Kathie Lee's throbbing, milk pouring nipple... She sucks as hard as she possibly can. It dribbles out of the corner of Kelly's mouth. I lean over and lick it up, joining Kelly on Kathie Lee's right breast.

We suck and share the milk that shoots out. We kiss and swap her milk. I pull up Kelly's very tight, beige miniskirt and finger her dripping wet snatch. Kelly moans, smiling at me as she happily sucks down Kathie Lee's milk. I finger her tight pussy faster and faster, wiggling my fingers, twisting them, sliding my thumb up her tight, toned ass.

"AHHHHHHH...MMMM MMMM." Kelly squirts all over my wiggling fingers. I continue to finger her tight holes. I kiss Kathie Lee and finger Kelly's ass and pussy, wanting Kelly to squirt again. Kelly sucks intensely on, her now mistress' rock hard nipple, drinking down every sweet, delicious drop of milk that pours out.

I kiss Kelly, as she screams in sexual bliss, into my mouth, squirting hard on my fingers. I pull them out of her tight, squeezing holes and watch, as Kelly sucks my fingers clean. She sucks them like a cock, as she looks deep into my eyes. Kelly is such a sexy woman.

We all three kiss, our tongues fucking in our mouths. I'm so fucking hard, kissing two of the sickest women on earth at the same time. I lick and suck their tongues, kissing both deeply.

I fuck Kelly as she eats Kathie Lee's juicy, mature pussy. "Eat it bitch! You're my bitch now... you're gonna serve me and do whatever I want... do you understand?" Mistress Kathie Lee takes total control of Kelly Ripa. Kelly nods her approval... pulling her mouth off of her mistress' bald pussy to respond.

"Yes mistress... I'm your bitch... your wish is my command." Kelly fully submits to Kathie Lee, becoming her sex toy, to be sexually and emotionally used, as Mistress Kathie Lee wishes.

My cock plunges into Kelly's soaking wet, bald snatch. Kelly looks back at me, screaming in delight, smiling at me... blowing me a huge kiss. "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK MEEEEEEE JAMESSSSSSSSS... YESSSSSSSSSS!!" I reach up and play with Kelly's sexy small titties, pinching her perky nipples, pulling them hard, her milk squirting out. I pound her tight, juicy pussy harder and harder, squeezing out more milk from her sweet little titties.

"YESSSSSSSSSS... I'M CUMMMMMINGGGGGGGG MISTRESSSSSSS!!" Kelly looks at Kathie Lee and squirts all over my rampaging, throbbing cock. I pull out, stand up and pull Kelly's head back. She smiles at me, engulfing my entire 10 thick inches in one gulp. She sucks her juices off of my cock, tasting her sweet pussy all over my cock. She sucks me ridiculously fast, bobbing that beautiful head on my throbbing, ready to cum, cock. Kelly smiles at me, around my cock, licking all over it, her saliva pouring out of the corners of her mouth.

I explode in her mouth, pumping my jizz in, as she swallows it down. I pump wave after wave of thick cum down her throat. Kelly swallows fast and hard, drinking down every drop. Kathie Lee pulls my still jizzing dick out of Kelly's mouth and sucks it down herself. I finish cumming down Kathie Lee's throat.

Kathie Lee winks at me as she swallows my cream. She keeps sucking, tickling my balls. Kelly sucks my balls, then slips her tongue up my ass, rimming me, tongue fucking my ass. It feels so fucking good. I start pissing down Kathie Lee's throat. She moans her approval and drinks it down. Kathie Lee smiles around my big pissing cock, massaging my aching balls. Kelly tongue fucks my ass faster. I close my eyes, so fucking happy fucking Kathie Lee and Kelly.

Kathie Lee pulls Kelly's mouth to hers and shoves my so fucking happy, pissing cock, into hers. Kelly moans happily, drinking down my massive load of piss. She sucks me, bobbing her head on my pissing cock. I wanna cum again. Kelly senses it and sucks me harder, bobbing her beautiful head faster.

I finally finish pissing down Kelly's throat, right as I blast a huge load of cum down it. Kelly laughs and moans in delight, as she drinks down my massive wave of jizz. I watch her throat swallow hard, as my jizz is pumped down it. Kelly sucks me totally dry.

We spend the next three hours, in my office, fucking and sucking our brains out. I fuck Kathie Lee's perfect tits, cumming all over them... Kelly licks them clean. I fuck Kathie Lee's toned, mature booty, while Kelly sucks my balls. Kelly sucks out my jizz from Kathie Lee's ass.. They kiss and share it, putting in a sexy ass show for me, letting it dribble out of their mouths and licking it off of each other's tits. I piss in Kathie Lee's pussy... she squats over Kelly's face, blows me kisses and shoots my piss into Kelly's open, smiling, mouth. Kelly's eats Kathie Lee's pussy clean, drinking down two orgasms from her mistress.

I fuck both their sweet asses, drilling both for 30 minutes each. I pull out of Kathie Lee's booty and cum all over both gorgeous ladies' faces. They lick each other faces clean, kissing as I film it all. I take several pictures of the both of them sucking me clean and kissing my cock. I post them to Twitter.

We go back to my place and spend all night fucking and sucking. Kelly calls her husband and breaks up with him on the phone, my cock wedged up her tight ass, Kathie Lee squirting on her face. We all moved in together. We have a very happy three way relationship. Kelly is submissive to both Kathie Lee and I...so I guess Kathie Lee wins the battle. Actually, we all three win... Kathie Lee Gifford vs Kelly Ripa.

This story will be continued in my new series... Livin' With Kathie Lee And Kelly. Make sure to check it out.

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10/14/2019 

Katie the Nympho

THIS IS A PARODY... IT IS NOT REAL

This is a new type of sex parody I'm trying. I think of it as a comedy noir type of story. The narrator, William, will tell the story of Katie Couric being a nympho, and he will also interact with her. It will be full of hyperbole. I hope it works well. Enjoy.

*****

Welcome to Katie the Nympho. Let me introduce our narrator for this sexually awesome spectacle, the one, the only, the super amazing William. A man of 69 years and 10,000 beers, his charm and lady pleasuring skills are legendary. His narrating skills are reminiscent of the greatest radio performers from the 30's and 40's. So here he is, once again the one, the only, WILLIAMMMMMMMMM!!

William: (he clears his throat as a beautiful female assistant finishes blowing him) Well thank you Dick for that stupendous introduction. As Dick said, I'm your humble, charming narrator for this sordid tale of debauchery, that looks squarely into the sex ceased, lustful adventures of the quite gorgeous Katie Couric. Her beautiful face. Her magnificent breasts. Her always wet and well used pussy. She is a sexual dynamo like no other. Her sexual appetite for unbridled, carnal debauchery is utterly inconceivable. We begin our story with Katie on her knees, giving oral gratification to one particular television producer. Katie is well known for her blowjob skills, she can suck the rust off any well rusted bumper at any time ever in history. She is sucking his pretty miniscule penis with her luscious, full, pink, lip glossed lips. Her hands are rubbing his small testicles, squeezing them gently, while she sucks his whole, small penis in her mouth, sucking hard, tickling his hairy nutsack. She moves her pretty little head up and down his cock faster, her wet, pink tongue licking slowly up and down the shaft, while she continues to softly manhandled those hairy ass and blatantly unattractive testicles.

Katie: Mmmmmmmmm, yeah baby, your sweet cock tastes so delicious in my mouth baby. Are you gonna give me that TV special I want? If you do, there's a whole lot more of this coming, or cumming. your way.

Producer: Yes Katie, just please keep sucking and play with those great tits too.

William: Katie obeys his dastardly orders, unbuttoning her gray jacket and white blouse, taking her pert, full breasts out of their restrictive confinement in her lacey white bra. She pulls her full, erect nipples hard, then releases them, as they pop back into place. She rubs them while she sucks his small cock at a more rapid pace. Katie squeezes her beautiful 34 C breasts, pointing them at the producer, smiling a big, majestic and utterly spectacular smile up at him. The producer grabs her head.

Producer: That's it Katie, here it cumsssssssss.

Katie: Give it to me now! Fill my fucking mouth baby. Fill it nowwwwwwww.

William: Katie sticks out that seductive tongue, licking the head of the producer's small phallus as he CUMSSSSSSSSSSSS an unbelievably, mind blowingly massive (not really, but still large) load of thick jism into the mouth of America's Sweetheart. Her magnificently marvelous, soft mouth sucking every thick drop of succulent semen that emerged from his lackluster penis. Katie jerked his cock, making sure to completely empty his hairy balls of their jismy inventory. She licked the head of his cock clean, sucking the head hard and letting it pop out of her sucking mouth with a vulgarly lurid PLOP.

Producer: That was amazing Katie. Your mouth should be in the television hall of fame, you're the best baby. I'll make sure you get your special.

Katie: Thank you sexy man. You and this beautiful cock of yours are the best. (She winks at us with a very sarcastic overtone.)

William: Oh that Katie. Such a minx. She definitely knows how to get what she wants, and she wants SEX, more and more HOT, STEAMY, VAGINA THROTTLING SEX!! Our next adventure with Katie finds her bent over the desk of the most powerful agent in all of agenting. His grotesquely, massive and quite hairy belly slapping on Katie's superbly full and well toned, tan ass cheeks as he pounds her ass as hard as humanly possible from behind. He slaps her magnificent, smooth ass hard as he grabs her curvy hips and voraciously sodomizes our heroine. Katie is screaming loudly in booty banging euphoria. She loves having her well toned ass sodomized hard. It's making her sweet as honey, smoother than silk, tastier than a big ass bowl of Cap n' Crunch cereal in the morning. pussy leak her sweet juices all down her tan, toned legs.

Katie: POUND MY TIGHT ASS BITCH!!

William: Katie commanded in her most stern, demanding and intensely, sex crazed, nymphomaniacal, yet sweet, slutty voice. Her deliciously, honey sweet vagina squirting as she came for the powerful ass pounding.

Katie: Get over here William and give me a cock to suck while this fat bastard destroys my glorious ass.

William: Yes ma'am. I walk over in such a dignified manner, sit properly down in front of Katie on the oak desk and present to her my pleasingly large, very hard penis. She hungrily sucks on it, deep throating all of it in one substantial gulp. It feels deliciously decadent in the most sexually explicit way. Her tan, well manicured fingers with their soft pink fingernails were wrapped around my manhood, slowly pumping it while her beautiful mouth suckled on my large mushroom shaped head. The fat agent was pounding the excrement (figuratively) out of her tight ass. He spread her tanned ass cheeks apart and watched as his large, thick, not as impressive as mine, penis ravaged rapidly her amazing bottom.

Katie: YES MOTHERFUCKER, POUND THAT TIGHT PERFECT ASS U FAT BITCH!!

WILLIAM: Katie yelled and turned around, smacking his portly, disgusting face.

Agent: Hey, idiot watch it.

William: Oh, pardon. Katie continued her oral assault on my manhood, sucking my exquisitely large testicles, looking up at me with the most delightful yet devious and quite devilish smile on her beautiful face. She has beautiful eyes and soft supple lips, which were suckling on my meaty balls while she wonderfully jerked on my impressive cock. I was indeed in a state of euphoric sexual delight and she could sense it, that sexy little slut. Katie began sucking my cock hard, tickling my testicles with those pink fingernails. The agent was reaching up and roughly groping her magnificent C cup breasts as he forcefully pounder that perfect, supple ass.

Agent: I'M CUMMINGGGGGG!!

William: He exploded massive amounts of jismy, jism up Katie's tight ass. It was like a fireworks display, except that it was a boat load of fat guy cum up her ass instead of fireworks.

Katie: YESSSSSSSSSS!! FILL MY SWEET ASS, YOU'RE SUCH A LUCKY BASTARD, GETTING TO FUCK KATIE COURIC'S ASS. DON'T YOU FORGET IT MOTHERFUCKER. YOU KEEP GETTING ME JOBS AND YOU'LL KEEP GETTING THIS ASS!

Agent: You got it Katie.

William: The portly agent pulled out of Katie's ass and shoved his fat cock up her pussy. I looked over and a very pleasing idea entered my amazing brain. I pulled out of Katie's mouth, got off of the desk and picked up her leg. I then shoved my fantastic phallus up Katie's pussy as well. Double vagina sex for KATIE THE NYMPHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! (clearing his throat) We both fucked her vagina, two large cocks up that leaking, wet vagina. We dual trusted our horny way up Katie's pussy.

Katie: DAMNNNNNNN!! THAT'S IT YOU BASTARDS, DOUBLE FUCK MY SWEET PUSSY. POUND IT FOOD BITCHES.

William: Katie reach over and squeezed my chin as she said it. We fucked her wet pussy deep. We both Smack her ass hard and groped her soft tits, holding them as we double assaulted that neatly shaved, landing strip topped vagina. We rapidly pummeled her insanely wet pussy. In and out with long deep strokes. We worked as a well oiled and well synchronized machine/tandem. Katie was moaning uncontrollably as we relentlessly destroyed America's Sweetheart's honey sweet pussy in the most insanely incredulous and pervertedly sexual way possible.

Katie: YESSSSSSSSSSSSS, I'M FUCKING CUMMINGGGGGGGG!!

William: Katie emphatically shouted with sexual radiance exploding out of her amazingly sexy sex whore body. She squirted all over our impressive, well aged cocks. Moaning loud as shooting pussy cum all over our cocks wedged in her soft voluptuous vagina. It spurred us on as we double whammied her pussy mercilessly for several minutes as she squirted once more, it leaking out of her well stretched cum sucking, vivacious vagina. We both pulled out and pushed her sexy ass to her knees and EXPLODED MASSIVELY INSANE, GLORIOUSLY GIGANTIC LOADS OF CREAMY, THICK, SUCCULENT CUM ALL OVER HER MARVELOUSLY, TANNED, BEAUTIFUL AWAITING FACE. THAT AMAZING SMILE ON HER SWEET, PINK LIPS. Katie caught all of the thick cum spurting forth from our plump, throbbing cocks on her outstretched tongue. She swallowed every last, exquisite (at least from mine) drop. She licked up both bone dry and smiled the whole time with that sweet smile. Such a beautiful creature she is.

Katie: Thank you William. Now get out of here and get back to telling my story you old pervert.

William: I departed from the debauchery to reclaim my position at the podium to finish this erotic tale of sexual depravity.

Katie: You know you love this erotic tail, bitch.

William: Katie told me as she winked and smiled a devilishly, delightful smile, while wiggling that perfect, junk having trunk of hers at me. Katie now moved on to a back alley where she was on her knees orally gratifying a homeless man asking for a few dollars. She had died him $50 and also gave him the awe inspiring blowjob as well. She sucked him hard and fast, squeezing her magnificent breasts though her jacket and blouse, smiling up at him while superbly sucking his 6 inch thin member. She squeezed his large hairy balls and sucked him harder. He shook in delight as he blasted a small wave of watery jism into Katie's awaiting mouth. She gladly sucked it down. She was a cum loving slut, like no other. Once she had skillfully extracted his jism she kissed his cock head (and faked a smile, his cock smelled, but she's a trooper) and told him to have a nice day. She went home to relax after another sex filled, whoretastic day. She is laying in her bubble bath filled tub.

Soothing music playing and a glass of white wine in her hand. She has her eyes closed, admiring her slut skilled awesomeness. I decide to end this adventure in a very pleasing way (at least for me) so I walk over to the tub and shove my spectacular cock all the way down her throat. She opens her eyes and sees me and smiles. She gleefully sucks my throbbing hunk of marvelous man meat. Still holding her wine, she sucks softly on my cock slowly up and down, her soft lips slowly dragging their way across my powerful penis. She quickens her pace and sucks harder, tickling my balls with those pink fingernails. I feel my cum ready to explode out of my spectacular piece of lady pleasuring man meat. She pulls her mouth off of my cock and points it at her wine glass. Katie jerked me off fast smiling at me and licking out her sensuous tongue at me as well. I push forward and CUMMMMMMMMMMMM I her glass filling it to the brim with my succulent semen. She swirls her glass around, savoring the aroma and then she tips the glass to her mouth and swallow it all down.

Katie: MMMMMMMMMMM, my kind of drink William, so tasty baby.

William: Katie looks at me and licks the glass clean, blowing me a kiss as I smile in utter delight at the sexually spectacular sight. She sucks my cock clean and kisses the tip.

Katie: Thanks for the drink William. Now get the hell out of my house.

William: Well (clearing my throat) this wraps up our happily, hyperbole filled sexfest of KATIE THE NYMPHOOOOOOOO!! Join me next time as I use my vocal and penis talents on another sexy slut.

Katie: William, you're a dirty old man.

William: Yes Katie, my dear, I most definitely am.

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10/14/2019 

Freaky Funland Resort

WARNING : TWISTED DEPRAVED PERVERTED HORNY ASS SLEAZY FREAKY AS FUCK SEX PARODY... IT AIN'T REAL... BUT IT SURE AS HELL IS DIRTY AS SHIT

THIS IS MY HORNIEST... FREAKIEST... AND MOST PERVERTED FUCK FILLED FUCKFEST STORY YET... THERE ARE A BUNCH OF CELEBS IN THIS... IT'S ABOUT FREAKY FUNLAND RESORT... ME AND MY FUCKED UP HORNY ASS FAMILY AND CREW OPEN UP THE WILDEST... AND HORNIEST... RESORT EVER... ENDLESS FREAK FUCKING FUN... HOT DAMN!!

OUR MOTTO : WE FUCK... IT'S WHAT WE DO!

"Now that's a sign. FREAKY FUNLAND RESORT. James really outdid himself with this one. 50 feet tall... 50 feet long... blue and gold neon... fucking pimp city for sure." My wife Penny (The Big Bang Theory) says to my wife Kim Kardashian, as they look over my huge new sign for our resort. We specialize in privacy...so celebrities love us. All my famous friends love it. It's nicknamed Fuck City USA... you can guess why. It's the most white trash, wild as fuck, crazy ass, perverted, sex crazed resort known to MANKIND. Penny and Kim run the resort for me. They're not only superbabes... but they're also superbosses.

"Hey Herbie. How's everything inside?"

"Ummmmm... I... Ummmmm..." My nerdy, shy lackey Herbie is really awkward around women. He's huge, fat and obsessed with Batman... and porn... Well, one isn't bad.

"Still have trouble talking to girls huh?" Penny smiles. Short blonde hair. Skimpy, orange bikini, daisy dukes and orange flip flops. Fuckin' babed out to the max. She flashes Herbie quickly. He stares wide eyed and sweats... Herbie sweats a lot. Kim laughs. Penny winks at her. Kim smiles at Herbie and pulls her black bikini top off her big tits, flashing Herbie too. Kim's the queen. Hottest bitch on earth. Got her hair long, straight and blonde. Skimpy, black bikini, black spandex pants and black pumps... black, designer shades too.

"You wanna fuck us don't you Herbie?" Penny asks. Herbie almost passes out. Penny and Kim giggle.

"Pull out your cock for us Herbie." Penny ramps up the teasin'. Herbie just stares, open mouthed, at those two awesome pairs of naked tits. He can't speak or do anything. He's frozen in pleasurable shock.

"Here... let me help you." Penny walks up to Herbie and reaches in his black Batman pants. She grabs his cock and smiles.

"Very nice Herbie. Very nice." Penny pulls out his 9 inch cock.

"Mmmmmmm... Look at this Kim. He's got a big one. We're gonna have a lot of fun with ol Herbie here." Penny smiles right at Herbie. He's still open mouthed and staring hard at Penny and Kim's luscious tits. Penny strokes his big cock slowly. Herbie finally closes his eyes, groaning so loud, shaking, totally shocked by his luck.

"Want us to suck it Herbie? You won't cum in my mouth right away will ya sweetie? I'll swallow your load, if you fuck us first.

"UHHHHHHHHH..." Herbie grunts. His cock explodes in Penny's hand. Cum bursts out all over the ground. Herbie runs off. Penny and Kim laugh. Penny walks back to Kim. She looks at her hand and sees a glob of Herbie's thick cum on it. Penny holds her hand to her mouth and sticks out her tongue. She licks at the semen, tasting it.

"Mmmmm... nice and yummy. Too bad he ran off." Penny and Kim giggle and put their boobs away.

Back at my trailer...

"DAMN JAMES... WORK THAT ASS DADDY!!"

"WHO'S ASS IS THIS BITCH? TELL ME BITCH!"

"IT'S YOURS DADDY... I'M YOUR BITCHHHHHHHHH!!"

I slap my cousin Terry's big ass, pounding my foot long dick up that formerly tight ass, thumping it HARDDDDDDDDDDDDD!! SHIT... FUCKING THAT SLUT HARDER HARDER HARDERRRRRRRRR MY HUGE COCK PLUNGING INTO HER DARK DEPTHS WITH RECKLESS ABANDON HARDER HARDER HARDERRRRRRRRR!!

Terry's big ass, beautiful, natural titties in my hands... feelin' so fuckin' good. She squirts for the fourteenth time. Fuck yeah... I said fourteen fuckin' times motherfucker. Been butt fuckin' the big titty whore for two hours. Woke up horny, so I grabbed her and booty banged the fuck outta her. Bitch loves my big dick up her ass. I pull her short hair and piledrive my foot long dick as hard up that whore's phat ass as hard as fucking possible. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... GOD DAMN YESSSSSSSSSS DADDYYYYYYYYY... POUND ITTTTTTTTTT... I'M YOUR WHOREEEEEEEEEE!!"

"DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE WHORE!" I pound the fuck outta her ass for another hour... Six more orgasms. Twenty, bitches. Then I pump my sticky seed deep up her bowels... Flooding her hershey highway. YEAHHHHHHHH!!

"TAKE... THAT... HO!!" My thighs slap her thick ass hard as I pump my wad up her whore ass. I pull out and piss all over her ass, back, pussy, head, hair and everywhere else. Bitch flips around and sucks me, drinking down my piss and cum mixture. Good whore. I slap her face and spit in it. Bitch loves it, lickin' it up, swallowing it down with my piss and cum.

Been pimpin' my cousin for years. She's a good earner. She's a cheap whore. $50 a blowjob. She'll do it for $20 if you give her some weed or whiskey. She's a freak... all my bitches are. Bitch loves swallowing jizz. She's a full fledged cum dumpster. I throw her $500 and some weed... she's my cousin, so I take care of the whore.

I get dressed. White and gold striped sweatpants and Air Jordans. Pimped out gold and diamonds PRETTY BOY chain. Kim bought it for me. Bought me my pimped out $650,000 Bentley outside too. Two thirds a million dollars Bentley out front of a trailer... Motherfucker, we keepin' it white trash as shit round this bitch.

"Make sure you earn me some fuckin' money today bitch. Got those rich motherfuckers at the resort. Walk that track right baby. Get daddy his cheese."

"I will daddy. I'll make you real happy pimp daddy." Terry kisses me. I slap her phat ass and squeeze her big titties, then head out.

"Sweetheart... Misha was looking for you earlier. I think she needs some money. I'm heading over to the resort. You wanna walk with me?"

"Of course mama." I'm a mama's boy. My mama Kathie Lee (Kathie Lee Gifford) is my first love and my greatest love. She's the best. My whole family works at the resort. We all work together and fuck together. Fuckin' is what we do. Not just the resort... but in our personal lives too. It's all about gettin' fucked.

Mama and I make our way over to Freaky Funland. Our trailer is next door. The resort is in the woods. It's a beautiful resort. Huge pool and stage outside. Huge lake behind it. Nice, comfy place for rich people... especially famous people... to come, relax, have some fucked up fun... and get fuckin' fucked.

Mama pulls me over to a tree. She's fuckin' horny... hot damn! She pulls out my cock and pulls up her tight, baby blue mini skirt and slide my cock ride up one of the prettiest... and juiciest... pussies ever. I fuck mama right against the tree. I pull up her baby blue tank top... mama never wears a bra... except a sports bra... I have a thing for em. I suck her beautiful, soft, mature titties, softly biting those hard nipples, sucking down her delicious milk, as I slam up her cunt, all 12 inches of pure bred dick thunder launching up her beautiful pink tunnel.

"FUCKKKKKKKK MEEEEEEEEE BABYYYYYYYYYY!!" Mama looks so beautiful, screaming out in ecstasy. I smile. I keep sucking her gorgeous, natural tits, drinking her awesome titty milk, and drive my foot long dick as hard and fast up her perfectly trimmed, dark blonde pussy as possible. GOD DAMN, MAMA'S PUSSY IS GOOD!!

Mama squirts hard, shooting out her pussy jizz like a shotgun. I fuck her faster and faster, roughly fondling her titties, her milk shootin' out between my fingers. We kiss with raw animal lust. Mama sucks my tongue so hard. She squirts again. I cum blast her beautiful, super soaked cunt, pumpin' my thick, sticky load deep up her horny pleasure palace.

"Mmmmmmm... thank you baby. I needed that. Your daddy can't fuck like you baby... he can't even get it up half the time anymore. (Mama Laughs)... I needed your super cock wrecking my pussy. Mmmmmmm... love you so much sweetheart."

"Anytime mama. Love you too."

Mama fixes her clothes, kisses me and heads inside. I see my daughter Misha gettin' fucked doggy style against a tree by my cousin Spence (The King Of Queens). Misha's horny as hell. I also pimp her. She wanted to be a ho, so I decided to pimp her myself. I watch Spence plow Misha's twat from behind, her big hanging titties jiggling like crazy. He cums up her pussy... she's on the pill, no need to get knocked up... unless it's by me. Spence hands her some money and walks off.

Misha sees me and walks over. "Hey daddy. Another hundred bucks." Misha hands me the money, but I wave it off.

"Keep it babe. Here..." I hand her $1000. "Mama said you needed money."

"Thank you daddy." Misha kisses and hugs me. "Yeah... I fucked Spence. He wanted me pretty bad, so I charged him. It's amazing what a hard dick will do to a guy." We laugh. Misha drops to her knees and sucks me off. My daughter is a fuck star. She can fuck with the best of em.

Misha jerks my thick base and sucks the rest of my big ass dick, lookin' up at me the whole time... she knows what daddy loves. I put my hand on her head and enjoy the blowjob.

Misha sucks me off quick, her tongue swirling all over my throbbing shaft, her lips gliding up and down it, drawing out my cum. I feed her my creamy load. Misha is a good ho, she swallows it all easily, smiling around my massive cumming cock. I smile, as I feed my hot ass daughter my jizz. Misha drinks it like a pro. She always makes daddy proud. She kisses all over my cock and puts it back in my pants.

Inside the resort...

"How have you been Tyra? Long time no see." My wife Kate Upton greets her supermodel friend Tyra Banks. They hug and check each other out by the bar.

"I've been great. Look at you girl." Tyra plays with Kate's awesome, natural breasts. "Titties looking spectacular as always. How's married life treating you?"

"It's wonderful. James is such a sweetheart. I love him so much. The sex is unbelievable. That's what we do here... we fuck. As James would say." Kate and Tyra giggle, smiling happily.

"I know. I miss James' cock. I haven't had that big ol white dick in me in way too long. Where is that fine white daddy at anyway?" Tyra looks around for me.

"Oh, he's around. I'm sure you'll have his super cock in you real soon." They laugh.

"I hope so. I need a good fuck... or a hundred. My pussy's getting lonely. It's been awhile." Tyra rubs her pussy through her tight jeans. Then she rubs Kate's, through her white Capri pants.

"Mmmmmmm... there's other dicks here too. (Kate Plays With Tyra's Big Tits)... We all fuck, so I've tried em all... Hey Herbie... come meet Tyra Banks." Tyra calls out to my nerdy lackey. Herbie comes over, nervously smiling. Kate grabs a beer from the waitor's tray and hands it to him.

"He's really awkward around women... but he's fine when he drinks a beer. He's got a big cock too." Kate whispers to Tyra.

Herbie stands by Kate, drinking the beer. For some reason a beer relaxes Herbie. He doesn't panic around women, like he did earlier with Penny and Kim. His huge gut sticks out of his black Batman tee shirt and over his blue shorts. Tyra looks him over. He's not her normal choice of lover... but she's horny... and Kate said he has a big dick, so she goes with the flow.

"Hello Tyra... it's a pleasure to meet you." Herbie says, staring at Tyra's big chocolate titties in her skin tight, white ANTM tee shirt. Her white bra is outlined in the tight shirt. Herbie pops a boner. Kate notices and rubs it. She grabs it through his sweat shorts, to show Tyra.

"See... I told ya." Kate shakes her eyebrows at Tyra and smiles.

"Tyra looks at the big, thick, white nerd dick and licks her lips. "Wanna fuck me Herbie?" Tyra asks, her big, full tits rubbing on Herbie's chest.

"Yessssss." Herbie says, nodding, finishing his beer. Kate smile and they all head up to Tyra's room.

Back in the kitchen...

"Yeah Spence... Eat it baby. Mmmmmmm... Ahhhhhhh." My cousins Anne Burrell and Spence are fooling around. Spence is eating whipped cream outta Anne's blonde pussy. Anne's a lesbian with a taste for dick. We fuck all the time... and I pimp her out to other dudes. She fucks on her own too. Spence has his chubby face stuffed in Anne's phat pussy, eating all that melted cream from Anne's warm pussy.

He fucks her too. Anne's sitting on the steel counter, as Spence slams up her whipped cream flavored cunt. Spence rips open Anne's white chef coat and slaps Anne's big titties, squeezing them hard as fuck. Spence is a horny motherfucker... Like the rest of us, so he's always fuckin' somebody. He's got a thick dick and the chicks... and dudes... dig his cum too. Spence slams Anne's pussy. Anne cums, her cream mixing with the whipped cream. Spence pulls out and leans over shoving his tongue up her pussy, eating both tasty creams.

"FUCKKKKKKKK... YEAHHHHHHHH... MMMMMMMM!!" Anne grinds on Spence's face. He slams back up her pussy, drilling that thick dick like a jackhammer up Anne's gorgeous cunt.

"You want my jizz baby?" Spence asks, grunting.

"Oh yeah. I wanna drink it all." Anne says, licking her luscious lips.

Spence pulls out. Anne drops to her knees. Spence jerks his cock off into Anne's open, thirsty mouth. "FUCKKK!!" Spence cries out, cumming in Anne's mouth. She smiles up at him, her mouth open, collecting all of his thick cream in it. When Spence stops cumming, Anne gulps it all down, then sucks his dick dry.

"Mmmmmmmm... Delicious Spence. I need to make some cupcakes with this cum for the topping. I know it'll be real popular. Now feed me some more baby." Anne starts sucking Spence off, wanting more of his tasty jizz.

Up in Tyra's room...

"YESSSSSSSSSS... FUCK ME WHITEBOY!!" Tyra screams out, as Herbie bangs her from behind on her bed. Tyra puts her face back in Kate's bald pussy, eating her out, shaking her head, loving that big, white, nerd dick plowing her chocolate honey hole.

Penny and Kim walk into the kitchen, to check on things, and see Anne blowing Spence. They walk over and watch. Spence smiles. He's getting sucked off by Anne and has two super hotties watching him.

Penny licks her lips. "Hmmmm... taking a cum break, huh Anne?" Penny asks, smiling. Anne nods and sucks away. Spence grunts, ready to pop. Penny grabs a cupcake and hands it to Anne. Spence shakes and cums. Anne pulls his cumming dick out of her mouth and points it at the big, vanilla cupcake. She jerks out this thick cream onto the cupcake, icing it with it, like a world class pastry chef. She twirls it around, making sure it's topped perfectly.

When Spence finishes, Anne swallows the jizz in her mouth and sucks his dick clean, popping her mouth off of Spence's thick cock with a loud plop. Penny takes the cupcake from Anne and looks it over.

"Nice job Spence. That's a lot of cum. Very nice... we should probably taste it... to make sure it's right." Penny says to Kim, smirking deviously. Penny takes a big bite of the cum topped cupcake and hands it to Kim.

"Mmmmmmmm... Very nice sweetie... so yummy." Penny compliments Spence, as she eats the cupcake and cum in her mouth, licking her lips.

Kim licks the cupcake, then takes a smaller bite than Penny. She eats it. "What do you think Kim? Is it a keeper?" Penny asks.

"Mmmmmmm... So yummy. Your cum is so good Spence. We need to make a lot more of these cum cakes. I'll take a dozen." Kim says, smiling, winking at Penny. Penny and Kim laugh, then kiss. Anne sucks Spence some more, wanting even more creamy cum.

Back in Tyra's room...

"Fuck her ass whiteboy! Slam that fat dick up Kate's ass!" Tyra smacks Kate's perfect, soft ass, while Herbie bangs it with his fat dick from behind. He's holding Kate's curvy hips, as he drills up my wife's ass harder and harder. Tyra smacks Kate's soft ass again.

"YESSSSSSS!! SMACK IT... FUCK IT... GIVE ME THAT BIG FUCKING DICK IN MY ASSSSSSSSSS!!" Kate screams out, her big, full, heavy, hanging tits flopping. Tyra reaches under her and squeezes them. Kate cums.

"Take that fat dick in your ass bitch! You love it, don't you?" Tyra smirks at Kate.

"YESSSSSSS... I FUCKING LOVE IT IN MY ASSSSSSSSSS!! CUM IN OUR MOUTHS, HERBIE BABY." Kate moans in sheer pleasure. Herbie pulls out. Tyra and Kate swing around and hang the heads... mouths open... off the end of the bed. Herbie jerks off, grunting loud, cumming in both supermodel mouths. He goes back and forth between them, cumming his thick wad in both gorgeous goddesses' wide open mouths. He keeps grunting loud, as he pumps out a huge, thick load. He smacks his thick dick on both women's luscious lips. Tyra and Kate kiss, sharing the huge amount of cum between them. They string out long strands of jizz between their lips, putting on a show for Herbie. They suck it all in, swallowing every drop. Kate and Tyra take turns sucking Herbie clean, their sweet lips stretched around that thick shaft, sucking out every last drop of jizz.

"Nice job Herbie." Kate compliments him, sucking him clean. Herbie smiles happily at Kate.

"Yes... real nice... now... for round two..." Tyra says, a sexually mischievous look on her perfect face. She and Kate laugh and get ready for more.

I look around the front desk for our reservations list. Kim comes up to me and squeezes my cock from behind. "Hey there handsome." She hugs my back.

"Hey there hot stuff. Trying to find the reservations book. Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox are booked... and I wanted to make sure they get the Horny Presidents Suite." Kim opens the big middle drawer and pulls out the book. She opens it and assures me Jennifer and Courteney are getting our biggest suite. They're both close friends if mine, so I want em to have the best. They're stayin' together. They're have been rumors about em being involved for awhile. That makes me fuckin' smile.

"Thanks baby." I tell Kim. She pulls me into the office and locks the door. Kim takes her black bikini off and drops to her knees, pulling out my soft cock. Kim slowly licks every thick inch of it, then slowly sucks me in. I groan happily, smiling at my perfect wife, those amazing lips wrapped so tight around my very thick dick. They glide effortlessly up and down my manmeat, her saliva lubricating my hardening shaft.

I pick Kim up and bend her over the desk. I slap that bootylicious booty and spread those super curvy cheeks. I spend the next twenty minutes pussy thumpin' and ass bangin' Kim. I do her doggy style, bent over the fuckin' desk... I pound her super horny holes, as she lays on the desk... she rides me in her super phat ass, as I suck her big, gorgeous, perky titties with horny glee.

Kim cums six times, floodin' my fuckin' cock and balls... and the carpet. I jizz up her pussy... pull out and shove my damn dick up her tight ass, pumping it past full with my piss. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH... PISS IN MY ASS BABYYYYYYYYYY!!"

Kim starts pissin' on me, as I overflow her magnificent, curvaceous ass with my warm urine. Fuck yeah bitches, it's piss party USA baby! God damn, it's hot. Piss everywhere. I pull out and piss all over Kim's big tits and perfect face. She opens her mouth and drinks it down. She even squats on my face and pisses in my mouth. I drink that sweet piss down with a smile. Kim sucks me, drinking the rest of my piss directly from my happy ass dick.

Kim sucks me so damn good... and fingers my prostate... I dump a huge ass load of jizz down her throat. Kim swallows it all, moaning in pleasure the whole fuckin' time. "Mmmmmmmmmmm... I love your cum James... it's the most yummiest cum ever. Even yummier than Spence's. I ate some of his cum cupcake earlier... but I'd rather have yours daddy." Kim says, smiling sweetly at me, making me fuckin' smile a big ass happy smile as always. She sucks me totally fuckin' dry.

Outside at the pool...

"Good... ok guys... a little more pee." My longtime friend and crew member Trish Stratus directs my cousins Braun (WWE Superstar Braun Strowman) and Fat Bastard (The Austin Powers Movies) as they piss in our special piss tub... A hot tub flavored with piss. We add the piss into the hot water, to give our horny guests a unique, relaxing experience.

"OK... perfect." Trish approves of the amount of warm urine in the tub.

"Geezzz... I had to drink a whole bottle of peppermint schnapps to piss that much... (Shaking His Head Wildly, Drooling)... CAUSE I'M DEAD SEXY!!" Fat Bastard is slightly hammered.

My wife Stephanie McMahon walks by and looks at the tub. "You got them to piss enough... nice... I was worried Fat Bastard wouldn't be able to perform." Stephanie's smirks at Trish. They laugh.

"Whaddya mean little lady? I always perform... get in the tub and I'll show ya." Fat Bastard start dancing... almost falling... grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh yeah... Come here." Stephanie puts on her boss bitch face.

Fat Bastard waddle over to her... his massive dick hanging soft between his immensely fat and hairy legs. Stephanie looks him over. She grabs his huge cock and shakes it, jerking it. "Yeah right. You've got two hot and horny babes right here... and your dick's still soft." Stephanie shakes her head in disgust. She smacks Fat Bastard's massive, greasy cock. He winches.

Upstairs in Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston's suite...

"I'm glad we can cut loose and have some fun here Jen. I want you so damn bad." Courteney kisses Jennifer fondling her small tits through her thin, black top.

Down in the massage room...

Madonna is getting a special massage from Yurgen, our massage therapist. He's Danish... and he has a 9 inch cock that's wider than a woman's forearm. Madonna is finding that out, getting an anal, deep tissue massage. Yurgen is on top of her on the massage table stretching her anus unbelievably wide with his Danish cock monster.

Up stairs in Jennifer and Courteney's suite...

I decide to join them, fucking both their asses, as they both film our fun. I piss deep up both tight asses, fucking and pissing simultaneously. Courteney eats out Jennifer's pussy, as she rides my dick in her gorgeous ass. Jennifer and I both piss in Courteney's mouth at the same time. We do a melted chocolate enema with both hotties. I pump the chocolate up their asses and fuck em both... then they eat it out of each other's asses.

It's a fun ass time at the resort. Kim and I fuck in the piss tub. Mama fucks Spence in the ass on stage, while the audience cheers. He's wearing an adult baby outfit, sucking on a bottle of milk, while mama pegs his ass with a foot long dildo. Mariah Carey sings God Bless America as it all goes on. I thought that was very fitting. Mariah gets double fucked in the piss tub by me and Spence afterwards. Kim drinks my piss from Mariah ass... while Spence pisses all over her perfect ass.

Mama and Madonna get double anal from Herbie and Yurgen. Another deep tissue massage turned anal pounding for both. My leprechaun buddy Horny and Braun both dress up as Bigfoot... yeah a small Bigfoot lol... and double pound Jennifer, while Courteney films it. Always a fun freaky time at the funnest, freakiest resort ever... Freaky Funland Resort.

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10/14/2019 

Freaky Friday

THIS IS A MOTHERFUCKING PARODY HOMEY... IT IS NOT REAL... BUT ITS FUCKING HOT

This is my homage to one of my favorite movies... Friday... This is like the white trash cousin version of it... It's sleazy, kinky, filthy and oh yeah, it's freaky as shit... Blaze a blunt or pop open a case of Bud... Or both... Get ready to get freaky... Enjoy

CAST:

Dick (Me)

Kaley (Kaley Cuoco)

Mom (Patricia Heaton)

Jessica (Jessica Simpson)

Dad (Dr Evil)

Wanda Sykes (Herself)

Kat (Kat Dennings)

Mini Me (Danny DeVito)

Fuzzy (Seth Rogen)

Fred (Jonah Hill)

Fuzzy's Mom (Peggy Bundy)

Church Lady 1 (Kathie Lee Gifford)

Kim (Kim Kardashian)

Church Lady 2 (Hoda Kotb)

Jenna (Jenna Jameson)

Christine Devine: Herself

Keisha (Courtney Love)

Cameos: Nia Long... Regina King

Ms Upton (Kate Upton)

Jamie Lee Curtis... Ron Simmons

Mr Upton (Carrie Heffernan King of Queens)

Bill Gates

Kristal (Pro Wrestler ODB)

FeeBo (Fat Bastard)

Missy (Bernadette Big Bang Theory)

Big Herm: (Herman Munster)

*****

I'm gonna tell you about my day yesterday. It was my favorite day... Friday. I was sleeping, having one helluva sweet dream. I was having a threesome with two of the stars of one of my all time favorite movies... Friday... Funny how that worked out, huh? Nia Long and Regina King were riding my 10 inch cock and mouth, respectively, while I was playing with Nia's gorgeous tits and wiggling my talented tongue, way up Regina's sweet black pussy. It may be 23 years now, since the movie came out, but these two honeys still get my big white cock hard. We were fucking and eating like maniacs... It was so much damn fun... Then we switched to me tit fucking them both, while they licked and sucked my super hard cock. Yeah ladies, get that creamy nut. I was ready to drop my thick load in their mouths, when... The damn doorbell rang. Shit!

I got up, scratching my big nuts and rubbing my eyes and went to the front door. I opened it and saw two Church Ladies, looking for donations. They looked at my huge erection, from my dream they woke me out of, and smiled a sexy smile.

Church Lady 1: Well, good morning handsome. Would you care to donate, to our church fundraiser? Any donation would be GREATLY appreciated.

I looked her over. Damn, she had great tits. She wasn't wearing a bra either. My kinda woman. I smiled at her and showed my pimp game.

Me: Would you two sexy ladies care to suck my cock? It would also be GREATLY appreciated.

I took out my huge cock and wiggled it for them. They took their tops off... Quick answer.

Church Lady 2: You bet your sweet cock we would!

They dropped to their knees and got going with earning that donation. They sucked and licked my big cock and balls, licking up my precum and both fingered my ass. Church Lady 1 sucked my cock, so damn good, while I played with her beautiful C cup, natural, older tits. I slapped them and squeezed them hard. She smiled at me, as I dumped my load in her mouth. She sucked it all down and sucked me dry, kissing her friend and swapping some cum. I decided to skip going to the bathroom and just piss on their faces. They were surprised at first, but quickly loved it, licking out their tongues and swallowing every drop, I pissed in their mouths. They kissed again and sucked me dry again, also.

Church Lady 1: Thank you for the breakfast baby.

She smiled so sexy at me and sucked my cock some more. I gave them $50 and we exchanged digits. I told them if they ever wanted to be pimped, to call me. They seemed interested, so it was cool, more money for the king pimp. We kissed and they got dressed, thanking me again.

Both Church Ladies: Thank you sweetie. See you tomorrow.

I smiled and waved. They were nice and sucked some good cock. I made my way to the kitchen, to eat some cereal. I looked in the fridge, but... no damn milk. I closed the door and my dad was there, eating prunes.

Dad: Why is it, every time I come in here, I see you in the fridge? Eating up all the pigs feet, all the hot pockets. I like pigs feet... actually I don't, sorry, they're gross, thank you very much... I do enjoy a hot pocket though... they're breathtaking... yes, thank you.

Me: I was gonna eat some cereal, but we ain't got no milk.

Dad: You better pour some damn water on that shit. Ok, thank youuuuu.

He walked to the bathroom, eating his damn prunes. My hot mom walked in and saw that I was down. I explained to her, that we didn't have milk and she solved the problem. She pulled her beautiful C cup tits out and squeezed them and her thick brown nipples, shooting her tasty tit milk into my bowl. I ate the cereal, as she sat in my lap. I poured some on her tits and ate it off of them, licking her tits clean. She kissed me and smiled, rubbing my face.

Mom: I never want my baby to be down. My handsome son. Here's the money from last night.

She handed me $500. Yes, I'm a pimp and yes, I pimp my mom... and sister. She has an office job too, but she does some ho work for me, on the side. I love pimping my mom, she's great at sex and she's so damn sexy...and freaky. She took out my hard cock and slid it up her hairy pussy. She rode me hard and fast, as I ate my tit milk flavored cereal. Fuck, she's sexy. She squirted her tit milk all over me and licked it off me. She rode my cock relentlessly, with such lust and force, smiling so sexy at me, the whole time, moaning loud. She squirted all over my 10 thick, in her pussy. I busted my nut, up her sweet, brown haired pussy, filling it full of thick creamy cum.

Mom: Mmmmmmmmm Dick, you have the nicest cock ever baby. I love fucking you, my sexy son

She kissed me, as I pissed up her pussy. She smiled and moaned into my mouth. She kept kissing me, as I overflowed her sweet pussy. My cum and piss oozing out, onto the floor. She got off me and sucked my cock clean, kissing it and smacking her lips. She smiled and winked at me, sitting down, eating my cereal, as I watched and fondled her great tits. I love my sexy mom. She's the best. I kissed her. The phone rang. It was my crazy ass girlfriend Jenna.

Jenna: Who did you go to the show with last night?

Me: What?

Jenna: My sister in law baby cousin said she saw you all hugged up with some bitch, at the show last night. So tell me who the fuck she is?

Me: Your sister in law baby cousin is lying.

Jenna: Well tell the bitch, whoever she is, when I find her, I'm gonna beat her ass!

We both hung up. That bitch is gonna drive me fucking insane. I went to my bedroom. My gorgeous big tit sister Kat, was in my bed naked, smiling at me. She picked up the covers, inviting me in and I got in with her. We kissed and I groped her E cup tits. I sucked them hard licking her erect nipples in my mouth, as I sucked her tits. I rubbed her pussy and kept sucking those huge tits. I shoved my huge cock up her pussy and jackhammered it, like a sex demon possessed.

Kat: FUCK ME DICKKKKKKKKKK!! I LOVE YOUR FUCKING COCKKKKKKK!!

I pounded that world class pussy, all the fucking way in and out, drilling as far up it, as I could. My 10 inches was pimp slapping her uterus, like it owed it money. She squirted hard on my cock, it shot out around my cock in her pussy. I pulled out and slid it up her ass, while I kissed her and held her arms, above her head.

Kat: DRILL MY FUCKING SLUT ASS HARDER DADDY!! I'M YOUR BITCH DICK, USE MEEEEEEE!!

I pounded her thick ass, thumping that booty hard, my legs bouncing off of her ass, when I thrust up it. She squirted again, all over me, I just smiled. My sister is so fucking hot. I came deep up her ass. She moaned so loud and squirmed in my bed. I filled that thick ass with my creamy pimp jizz. We kissed and I pulled out, shoving my cock in her mouth. She sucked it totally clean and kissed it. We cuddled in bed for a little while, making out, a pimp cuddle.

Kat: I wanna marry you Dick... Fuck the laws.

She hugged me, smiling. She's a sweetheart. I love her and I love fucking and pimping her. I kissed her and told her to go to her room. She pouted, but got up and wiggled her gorgeous, thick booty at me, as she walked to her room. I got up and put my shorts back on and bling too. My best friend Fuzzy stuck his big ass head in my window.

Fuzzy: Break yo self fool!

Me: You better watch who's window you're sticking your damn head into. You might get blasted on.

Fuzzy: With what, you ain't got nothing.

I grabbed my huge cock and shook it at him.

Me: With this, motherfucker.

We both laughed. He went out front and I got a couple beers, out of my fridge and joined him. I came out and he was walking over to talk to his weed supplier, Big Herm. He pulled up in his tricked out 65 Impala, with his black hair in curlers.

Fuzzy: What's up Big Perm... I mean Big Herm?

Big Herm: You sold all the weed yet?

Big Herm looked at Fuzzy acting weird and got suspicious. He put his big hand on his giant rubber dildo, that he uses to, "fuck you up."

Big Herm: You been smoking my shit?

Fuzzy: Herm, I'd steal from my mama, before I'd fuck with your shit... And you know this, Mannnn!

Big Herm showed Fuzzy the giant dildo.

Big Herm: Don't make me fuck you up Fuzzy! Messing with my money is like messing with my emotions.

He drove off. Fuzzy came over, we fist bumped and sat down.

Keisha, the local drug addict hoochie came up to us, wanting whatever she could get.

Keisha: Hey Dick... Hey Fuzzy, can I get some weed.

Fuzzy: Nope.

Keisha: Oh yeah Fuzzy, I need to borrow your car.

Fuzzy: What the fuck? Most people wanna borrow sugar or some ketsup... But you wanna borrow my car?... HELL NAW!! You need to borrow a job, with your outta work ass.

Keisha: Dick?

Me: Bye Keisha

Keisha: I'll blow you too for $20

Fuzzy and I looked at each other... And pulled out our cocks. Keshia got on her knees and sucked us both off. She sucked Fuzzy fast and hard and jerked him off too. He came quick, as usual. She swallowed his load and sucked hard on my cock. She played with my balls and sucked me greedily. She was good, sucking me deep, twisting her mouth, up and down my cock, rubbing my balls. I dumped a huge load down her throat. She swallowed it all, smiling up at me. She licked my cock head with her mouth wide open, showing me everything. She kissed it and we both gave her $20. She walked off, pulling her shorts. She looked good though, for a drug addict hoochie.

Ms Upton, the hottie across the street was watering her flowers. She was looking like a world class supermodel... Wink... She was wearing a hot pink, skimpy bikini, her big natural tits pouring out of it, oh my lord, what a woman. Fuzzy and I stared and just smiled. I went over to say hi, my way. We ended up on her front lawn, me slamming up her sweet pussy like maniac, where everyone could see. I love public sex, it makes me so fucking hard. I smacked her ass, while she shook her long blonde hair and screamed out how much she loved the king pimp's 10 inches.

Ms Upton: I FUCKING LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOUR COCK DICKKKKKKKKKK!! POUND MY PUSSY DADDY!!

I gave her what she needed, a hard ass pussy slamming. I pulled her hair and smacked that ass hard.

Me: Who's pussy is this bitch?

Ms Upton: IT'S YOURS DICKKKKKKKKKKKK!! FREAK ME DADDYYYYYYY!!

I fucking pissed in her pussy, while I slammed up it, every fucking inch, tasting that sweet, fine ass pussy. She squirted three times in a row. I pulled my cock out each time, letting her pussy soak my 10 thick, then I slammed right back up her pussy. I shot my wad deep in her soaking wet pussy. She loved it.

Ms Upton: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS FEED MY PUSSY DADDYYYYYYY!!

I pulled out and stood up. I pulled her head back and she gobbled up my huge cock, sucking it totally dry, while I roughly groped her very big, full tits, slapping them hard, shaking her rock hard nipples hard and squeezing them harder. Damn, she has gorgeous tits. I kept mauling them while she sucked my cock clean. After a few more minutes of rough breast play, I kissed her and she gave me my money. She's another of my hoes and a damn good one.

When I got back across the street and sat down, the hottest chick in the hood came jogging by. Kim and I are friends, but she won't hook up with me, while I'm with my crazy ass girlfriend. I'm gonna fix that real soon...Watch out for the ending... Wink... Fuzzy and I stared at her and waved, as she waved at us. It seemed liked she was jogging in slow motion. Baywatch has nothing on my girl Kim. She has the most gorgeous face and body I've ever seen. I just stared. Fuzzy woke me out of my trance.

Fuzzy: Dick, dude, snap outta it, bro.

He leaned back and smoked. He's a weed head for sure. I dabble in it too, from time to time, and right then, seemed like the perfect time. I lit a blunt and got to puffing. Just then Mr Upton, she's a woman, pulled up. They are sort of lesbians. Mr Upton is the "man" for sure. Ms Upton is bisexual and quite a hot woman. Mr Upton works nights. She came over to buy some weed from Fuzzy. I smoke it, I don't sell it. They completed their transaction and we shot the breeze.

Mr Upton: Dick, I've been wanting to talk to you about something. It's awkward for me, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. My wife has been getting on my nerves. I know she's cheating on me... No comment... I was wondering, if I could be one of your hoes. Maybe pimp me out to other chicks.

She looked at me, with a frustrated and kinda sad look. I like her, she's a cool chick, even though I'm pimping and fucking her wife, I still dig her. I pimp lesbians too. Hey, chicks pay for pussy, just like dudes do. I'm a equal opportunity pimp. The money's green, dude or chick, so it's all good in the hood.

Me: You got it babe. I have several lesbian friends, that pay for pussy baby and you're hot, so we can make some good paper.

She smiled and thanked me. She kissed me and went to her knees. I guess she was gonna dabble, in some dick. She sucked me like a pro. Obviously, she had been practicing on some dildos or something. She licked me all the way up and down and nibbled on my throbbing manmeat. She rubbed my hairless balls, I hate public hair, so I shave down there. She smiled up at me and licked all over my meaty balls. She spit all over my cock and jerked it, as Fuzzy stared on in disbelief, with his blunt hanging out of his mouth.

Fuzzy: Damn Dick, you're the motherfucking man, dude.

Mr Upton: And he's got the most beautiful cock.

She smiled and winked at me, sucking me voraciously, jerking and sucking my cock, so fucking hard. She pulled her great C cup tits out, playing with them, as she sucked me, like a all star ho. I looked right at her, puffed my blunt hard and basked in the feeling, of being the motherfucking king pimp of pimps. She wrapped her tits around my cock and fucked my rock hard cock with it. The soft friction of those sweet, full tits on my cock had me ready to pop. She sped up, working those titties up and down my cock at supersonic speed.

I just puffed and shot my load in her open mouth and on her tits. Fuck, she looked so good, with my cum all over her. She licked my cock and her tits clean, swallowing every drop of jizz in her and on her. She hugged me and I told her I would call her later, with a hookup for her.

Mr Upton: Thanks Dick, love ya babe. See ya Fuzzy.

She walked across the street and went in to see Ms Upton. My sister was in the house sleeping. My mom and dad had gone to work. My mom works for a law firm, as a secretary and my dad is an evil doctor, who tries to take over the world in his spare time. It's a different kind of family, but we get along, accept for when my dad wants his damn hot pockets. Ha.

We walked over to Fuzzy's house. My neighbor Missy is a pain in the ass about her damn grass. She's always making sure no on walks on it. We always do, so she always bitches about it.

Missy: Dudes, GET OFF MY FUCKING GRASS!! PLEASE!! (waving and smiling) Thank you.

We ran into FeeBo, the fat ass wannabe bully in the neighborhood. He wanted some money and he wanted Fuzzy to go with him in Missy's house to see what he could get.

FeeBo: Come on Fuzzy, let's check the big titty, little lady's house. I'M DEAD SEXY!!

Fuzzy and I just looked at each other.

FeeBo: Dick, you distractttttt her, OK?

Me: Dude, I ain't getting mixed up in that shit.

FeeBo: Ahhhh, come on man. Pleaseeeeeeeeeee, come on, I need money to work on my abs. I'M DEAD SEXY!!

He pulled up his shirt and showed us his gigantic hairy stomach. He kept farting too. We gagged and I agreed to help, just to get him to go away and stop saying...I'M DEAD SEXY!! I went up to Missy, who was on her front porch and sweet talked her, as FeeBo and Fuzzy tried to figure out how to get their fat asses in her house. I shook my head, cause they were making so much damn noise. The idiots finally figured out to go in her back door.

I made out with Missy and played with those big natural tits of hers. She knelt down and sucked my cock, looking up at me. I put my hands on her ears, cause the two idiots were arguing and making so much noise in her house.

FeeBo: Hurry up jackass, I ain't got all day. I'M DEAD SEXY!!

She wrapped her big tits around my cock and I fucked her soft tits. I shook my head at the noise the idiots were making in her house, but I kept my hands on her ears. I pounced those big tits harder and harder. She licked my cock head, as it popped out and tickled my big balls. I heard FeeBo and Fuzzy finally leave her HOUSE, so I pumped Missy's tits faster and came all over them. I covered them in my thick pimp cream. She smiled at me and licked it all up. She sucked me clean and asked me to come over again tomorrow when her loser husband was at work. He's an astronaut, I think. She wanted me to give her a Big Bang... wink... I told her I would and I went over to Fuzzy and FeeBo.

Me: You get anything?

Fuzzy: Yeah we got about $200

Feebo: I got about $200...now I can get that good abs video and do a little work on my abssss. I'M DEAD SEXY!!

He waddled off.

Fuzzy: Fat Bastard...

We looked at each other...We went over to Fuzzy's house and went in, his hot mom was on the phone, laughing and smoking.

Fuzzy: Damn mom, why don't you get up and clean or cook? Do something.

She looked at him angrily. Fuzzy went in his room I sat on the sofa next to his hot, red haired, big tit mom. She had her legs crossed, shaking the one on top. I pulled out my cock, shaking it at her. She smiled, while she smoked. I put my hand on her head, pushing it to my cock. She took a big draw on her cigarette and blew the smoke slowly, all over my cock. It felt so fucking good.

She sucked my cock and talked on the phone. She kept blowing smoke all over my hard cock and balls, as she deepthroated my excited cock. I played with her big tits, as she softly chewed on my cock head, sucking it hard, licking up all of the precum. She sucked me like a sex crazed slut, which she is. I grunted and dumped my huge thick load in her mouth. She sucked up every drop, as she talked. She's quite the multitasker.

Fuzzy's Mom: Thanks Dick, I needed that baby. Love ya.

I winked at her and joined Fuzzy in his room. He was smoking, as usual.

Me: What I don't get is, how you be selling weed, when you be smoking it.

Fuzzy: I don't know, I ain't figured that out yet.

Me: Alright, you better watch it. I heard Big Herm fucked up a fool for 50 bucks.

Fuzzy: Man, I don't give a shit. Fuck that Herman Munster looking motherfucker.

He leaned back and puffed away. I had a feeling he might be getting fucked up, by Big Herm, in the near future, damn fool. His hot mom came in and sat in my lap, her arm around me. She handed him a dollar. Fuzzy looked at it, in disbelief.

Fuzzy's Mom: Get me some cigarettes.

Fuzzy: This ain't enough.

Fuzzy's Mom: Make it enough.

She kissed me, squeezing my cock. I felt her up and smacked her ass, as she left Fuzzy's room. We headed out to Blondie Mart to get the cigarettes, which is good. A couple of my hoes work there and I needed to pick up the money they owe me. We were blasting Dr Dre on the stereo, in Fuzzy's car, on the way there. We got there and Kristal, the neighborhood drunk bitch, asked for some money.

Kristal: DICKKKKKKK, my baby, can I have some money baby, it's my birthday.

Fuzzy: It's your birthday?

Kristal: What day is it?

I took her in the alley and let her earn it. She knelt down, pulled those huge tits out and wrapped them around my cock. She fucked my cock with her huge tits. I let her do all the work, while I smoked my blunt and watched. Fuzzy sat down and kept smoking, cheering me on. Kristal was good with those tits, she spit on them and rubbed it in, for lubrication.

She sucked my cock head, while she looked at me. She tickled my balls and work those huge tits all over my hard, throbbing cock. She kept spitting on my cock and her tits, while she fucked my cock with them. I just blew some smoke rings and enjoyed her work.

She sucked me real good too. She nibbled on my cock head and sucked it hard. She licked up my oozing precum, while those gorgeous tits of hers fucked my cock. She sucked harder on my head and fucked my cock feverishly, with her tits. I grunted big and dumped my huge, thick load of jizz in her mouth. She sucked it up greedily, swallowing every drop and sucking me clean. I pushed her head off of my cock and pissed all over her face. She loved it, opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue. She was thirsty for it.

Kristal: Bath me in your fucking piss Dick! FUCK, SHOVE YOUR COCK IN MY SLUT MOUTH AND PISS DOWN MY THROAT BABY!!

I shoved my pissing cock right down her fucking throat and pissed down it. She sucked and sucked with her mouth and throat. Damn, this bitch is a freak and I dig it. After I finished pissing, I gave her $20 and we all went in Blondie Mart. My hoes popped up behind the counter, they were fucking, they're always horny.

Kaley: Welcome to Blondie Mart... Dick, hey baby.

Jessica shook her gorgeous, big tits at me.

Jessica: Hey sweetie.

I walked over behind the counter. I laid down and Jessica rode my face while Kaley rode my cock. I wiggled my talented tongue all the way up Jessica's sweet light brown haired pussy. She moaned and grinded on my mouth. Kaley was moaning loud, as she rode my 10 inches, smacking her ass on my legs, as she slammed down on my cock. She played with her C up tits and smiled at me, riding me so good. I slid two fingers up Jessica's well toned ass and fingered it, while I ate her out. I smacked her clit and pulled it, quick wiggling my tongue over every inch of her pussy walls. I pinched her clit hard and she squirted in my mouth, screaming in sexual delight.

Jessica: FUCKKKKKKKKK!! I FUCKING LOVE YOUR MOUTH DICK!!

I swallowed her pussy cream and licked her dry, kissing that gorgeous pussy. She and Kaley switched. I reached up and squeezed Jessica's big, perfect, natural tits, while she rode me like a champion cowgirl riding a bull. She waved her arm and yelled out.

Jessica: HELL YEAH BABY, I'M RIDING THIS BIG ASS COCK BABY, WOOOOOOOO!! YEAHHHHHHH!!

Kaley: Mmmmmmmmm Dick, eat my fucking ass baby.

I was tongue fucking Kaley's perfect tan ass, wiggling my tongue like crazy, eating out her world class ass. I fingered her pussy too, three fingers wiggling in her pussy. I twisted them all deep in her pussy, as I ate out her ass. They both squirted, Jessica all over my cock and Kaley all over my fingers. I licked her pussy clean and put my fingers in her mouth. She looked right at me and licked my fingers clean, slowly.

They both wrapped their tits around my cock and I tit fucked them. It felt so fucking good. I fucked both sets of great tits like a maniac, pounding them super fast. I came all over their beautiful tits and watched them lick it all up, sharing my cum, as they kissed. They let it hang from their mouths, looking at me, smiling and they sucked it up, swallowing it all. They sucked my cock clean and sucked my balls too. We got up and they gave me my money. I kissed them and looked for Fuzzy, I didn't see him, but I saw Wanda Sykes, holding a mop, yelling at Kristal, who was laying on the floor.

Kristal: OWWWWWW, my neck... my back... My neck and my back. I want $100,000...but I'll settle for $20.

Wanda: Bitch, get your punk ass up! It ain't even wet over here.

Kristal got up and I talked to Wanda. She and I are friends.

Me: Wanda, are you working here now?

Wanda: Hey Dick, yeah, Kaley needed some help and guess they figured asked the black bitch, she'll do it.

We laughed and hugged.

Wanda: I'm just helping out. Amazing what trouble you can get into when you like eating pussy... and getting yours eaten. Damn pussy, it's the devil.

We laughed. I like her, she's a cool ass chick.

Me: Well, you need to stick with some dick... from Dick.

I winked at her and shook my dick at her. She grabbed it and slowly stroked it, staring at it, licking her sexy lips.

Wanda: Damn daddy, I gotta admit... I love your fucking dick... Dick.

We laughed again and I kissed her.

Wanda: Come on babe, let's go.

She led me by my cock to a back room. We kissed and I fondled her big tits, rubbing her nipples, squeezing her full, black tits. She's fucking sexy to me. I'm the only guy she fucks. I love fucking lesbians, it's such a fucking turn on. I bent her over a pile of boxes and pounder her hairy black pussy like a jackhammer possessed. I smacked that thick ass and drilled that wet pussy with supersonic speed.

Wanda: DAMNNNNNNNNNN, FUCK MY BLACK PUSSY DICK, TEAR IT THE FUCK UP DADDY!!

I smacked her ass again and squeezed those sexy ass titties of hers. I pinched her nipples hard and pounded her pussy, as she squirted all over my thick cock. I kept pounding it harder and harder.

Wanda: YESSSSSSSSSSSS!! DICKKKKKKK, I LOVE YOUR FUCKING COCK!! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!

I destroyed that lesbian pussy, jackhammering my 10 thick inches up it, all the fucking waWy like a sex demon. She squirted five times on my cock, and three more times on the floor, as I pounded her tight, thick ass. I love fucking her, she fucking turns me on so damn much. I fucked her tits, while she licked my cock head. I watched her long tongue lick my head and lap up my massive amount of precum.

Wanda: Damn Dick, you taste better than pussy baby.

She winked at me and sucked my cock head. I blasted her mouth with my thick cum. Filling it three times. She swallowed every damn drop, moaning and sucking me clean. She slowly sucked my cock some more, as I smiled at her.

Me: Always a pleasure, pleasuring you baby.

Wanda: You too, sweet Dick. My favorite white Dick.

She winked at me and we laughed. I kissed Wanda and looked for Fuzzy. I saw a hot chick come out of the bathroom. They have a gloryhole in there. She adjusted her crotch and... it was a dude... damn, didn't see that coming. "She" smiled at me and walked off. Fuzzy came out of the bathroom smiling. Oh no.

Fuzzy: Dick, dude, I got sucked off in the toilet. I sat down and heard a chick's voice tell me to stick my cock through the hole. I figured, OK, and she sucked me off. Damn, I love this place.

Me: Fuzzy, I don't think...

Fuzzy: It was great. The best blowjob of my life.

He was smiling, so happy, smoking and bragging about the blowjob. I didn't have the heart to tell him, so I just patted him on the back and we left. Kristal got a forty and walked off drinking it. We walked outside and saw a news van and a crowd. Big Herm had "fucked up" another dealer. I told Fuzzy to watch out. I saw the hot ass news chick from Fox, Christine Devine, interviewing people, so me and Fuzzy walked over. Damn, she's got great tits. Smooth brown skin, big natural tits, nice ass, quite a sexy chick she is. She saw me and smiled, asking if she could interview us. I said sure and told her our names.

Christine Devine: I'm here with Dick and Fuzzy. So Dick did you see what happened?

Dick: Uh, no beautiful, we were in Blondie Mart. I was hanging with my hoes.

Christine Devine: Your hoes? So you're a pimp?

Dick: The best in the biz.

I sweet talked her and got touchy feely with her. She liked it, so I told her to get in the truck with me. She gave her mic to the camera guy and got in the front seat with me, sitting in my lap. She was hot for me, so she quickly took my cock out and shoved it up her sweet brown pussy. I yanked open her blouse and pulled those perfect tits out of her bra, sucking them, slapping them and licking and kissing them all over. I bit her nipples and pulled them with my mouth, letting them snap back into place.

Christine Devine: FUCKKKKK YEAHHHHHH!! SUCK KY BIG TITTIES DICK!!

She rode me hard and fast, slamming down on my huge cock every time. I sucked those big, brown tits into my mouth, looking right at her, sucking them voraciously. Her sweet tit milk shot into my mouth and I swallowed it all. I rubbed her pulsating, brown clit faster and faster, as I sucked those greats tits, as hard as possible. She rode me so hard, screaming in ecstasy. We were rocking the van and I loved it. She squirted all over my invading cock, twice in a row. I kissed her deeply and smacked her ass, as she rode me harder.

I grunted in her mouth and came hard in her pussy, totally filling it with my thick creamy cum. She moaned into my mouth, as some of it oozed out around my cock. We exchanged numbers and kissed. She thanked me for the fuck and told me she would do some ho work for me on the side. King pimp strikes again.

Me: You've got gorgeous tits baby.

Christine Devine: Thanks Dick. You've got one gorgeous cock too baby.

She smiled and winked at me. I smacked her ass and she wiggled it for me, as she fixed her makeup and went back to interviewing people. Fuzzy took his mom's cigarettes to her and came back. He and I were in my kitchen and I was looking for sugar for some kool aid. I told him I couldn't find any.

Fuzzy: Damn, y'all ain't never got two things that match. You either got peanut butter... no jelly... ham... no burger.

We were watching TV in the living room when Kim came in the door. She was looking for Fuzzy, she was setting him up with some chick she knew. She smiled at me and I smiled back. Damn, that chick has a spell on me. She looked perfect, tight, light beige dress and light beige high heels. Her amazing cleavage was on full display. Her long, black, shiny hair so beautiful, those full luscious red lips, so fucking kissable.

Kim: Here's Reba's number Fuzzy, give her a call. He went into the kitchen and called her. Kim smiled at me and sat on the sofa.

Kim: Come sit with me Dick.

She patted the couch, smiling big. I went and sat next to her.

Kim: You know FeeBo has been dating Keisha and he grabbed her the other day.

I put my arms around her, simulating FeeBo grabbing her sister, but also just to hold her.

Me: You mean like this.

I held her, my face next to hers. Fuck, she smelled great. My warm breath on her neck. She moaned, smiling and held my hands. I knew she was gonna be my girl, at that moment. Fuzzy came back after talking to his chick. He told Kim I liked her.

Fuzzy: You know Dick likes you.

Kim looked at me and softly rubbed my face.

Kim: Yeah, but Dick already has a girl.

Fuzzy: Yeah, but he don't like her.

Kim smiled and looked deep into my eyes, those beautiful dark eyes of hers melting my heart. She said goodbye to me.

Kim: I'll see you later handsome.

Me: OK gorgeous.

Fuzzy: Damn, you two need to hook up. It's in the stars or something.

Kim: It might be. It just might be. Bye Dick. Good luck Fuzzy.

She smiled at me and walked out the door, it seemed like, in slow motion again. She's the most gorgeous chick I have ever seen. I was damn sure, gonna make her my girl.

My dad walked in with a bandage on his ass.

Me: What's wrong dad?

Dad: Got bit in the ass today son. That damn Mini Me got mad at me, for eating the last hot pocket and the little bastard bit me in the ass.

Mini Me rode by, on his bicycle, smoking his cigar and yelled at my dad.

Mini Me: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET ASSHOLE!! SUCK IT, CHROME DOME!!

He rode off and my dad yelled back at him.

Dad: FUCK OFF YOU CREEPY LITTLE BASTARD!! IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, YOU'D BE SUCKING WILLY WONKA'S COCK, YOU SORRY OOMPA LOOMPA BASTARD!!

We laughed and he got mad.

Dad: You two get on the porch with all that damn noise. Thank you. Ow, my ass, damn midget..

We went outside and Jenna showed up, fussing. I took her inside and fucked the shit out of her, in my bedroom. I pounded her pussy and ass doggy style and fucked her big ass tits. She sucked my huge cock and squirted all over my cock and balls. She came four times and I filled her ass with my thick seed. She sucked me clean and I told her she had to go, my dad's in a bad mood.

I took her to her car and kissed her, squeezing her ass, knowing this was the last time we would fuck. I was getting ready to dump her when Jamie Lee Curtis pulls up and wanted some weed from Fuzzy. I got distracted and Jenna got mad I was staring at her and drove off in a huff.

Jamie Lee Curtis: Hey Dick, I hear your gonna do a sex story about me and my movie brother Michael Myers. Make sure you put your sexy ass self in it, OK? I want you to fuck me silly babe.

I kissed her and smiled. She smiled back and kissed me deeply.

Jamie Lee Curtis: Make sure you check out Dick The MOTHERFUCKING pimp's story about me and Michael Myers everybody... (I'm smiling)... See you later sexy man. Thanks for the weed Fuzzy.

She drove off. I dig that sexy chick. Fuzzy's friend Reba drove up and I sat on my porch. He went to talk to her and looked astonished. She got out and she was a real big chick. He was expecting Katy Perry... oops. He argued with her but she knelt down and blew him, so he shut up. She sucked him hard and fast jerking him fast and sliding a finger up his ass. Pro Wrestler Ron Simmons came over, looked at them hooking up. Thought about what to say. Shook his head. Looked at them again...

Ron Simmons: DAMN!!

Fuzzy came quick, it's Fuzzy, and she swallowed it all. They exchanged numbers, as our friend Fred came over.

Big Herm and his goons showed up and chased Fuzzy around, all over the place. Fred and I watched and laughed. Big Herm had his giant dildo, to fuck Fuzzy up. They chased poor Fuzzy all over the hood, it was funny to watch though. Fuzzy finally climbed a tree, scared to death and he gave Big Herm his money. They left and Fuzzy came over to us, breathing hard. Mom got home and shook her head at Fuzzy. Kat was right behind her. They both kissed me and went inside

Fred: Damn Fuzzy, he almost fucked you up.

Fuzzy was breathing hard, but answered.

Fuzzy: Yeah... But... He didn't... Damn, I'm tired.

Fred: Too much weed dude.

Fuzzy:... No such thing dude.

FeeBo came over, looking very tIred. He was breathing hard.

FeeBo:... Hey... Dick, I know we're supposed to have a big fight scene and everything, but could we just skip it?... My ab workout didn't go too well and I'm kinda worn out.

Me: Sure FeeBo.

FeeBo: Thanks Dick. I'M DEAD SEXY!!

That was it, I have enough of that shit. I jumped on him and beat his ass.

Me: STOP SAYING YOU'RE DEAD SEXY!! I'M SICK OF IT!!

I beat him up some more and walked off, just as Ron Simmons came over and looked at him...

Ron Simmons:... DAMN!!

He then kicked him a few times and walked off.

FeeBo: (Almost unconscious)...DAMN!! I'M DEAD SEXY...Oh fuck it.

He passed out. Kim came back to my house and took me in my bedroom. We fucked our brains out. She sucked my throbbing cock, as she looked at me with those gorgeous eyes. I ate her perfect bald pussy, making her squirt in my mouth three times. I swallowed it all and kissed her. She rode my rock hard cock, as I played with her big tits. I fucked her doggy style, smacking her perfect thick ass and pulling her hair, pound her pussy and ass. She squirted three more times. She rode me, reverse cowgirl position, as I squeezed her tits. I fucked her tits hard, slapping them pulling her thick nipples and shaking them hard. I came in her mouth twice. She slowed every drop and sucked me completely clean.

I was in love. I asked her to be my girl and she said yes. We fucked some more and came some more and cuddled... pimp cuddle... I was smiling when Jenna called and fussed at me for the last time.

Jenna: I don't know why I mess with your ass anyway.

Me: Me either. WE'RE OVER!!

I slammed the phone down. Fuzzy got a call from Big Herm.

Big Herm: Fuzzy, I had to teach you a lesson, partner!

Fuzzy: Well you can keep your shit from now on. I'm giving it up.

He hung up and laid back on his bed... Smoking a blunt, smiling.

Fuzzy: I was joking... And you know this, MANNN!!

Well, that was my Freaky Friday... It's kind of like Bill Gates says...

Bill Gates: (His arms around two hot chicks.)... Big Pimpin' Bitches... (He walks off with the chicks.)

Peace my people...Cue the music... We out.

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10/14/2019 

Gettin' Freaky with Nancy Pelosi

Freak Fucking Sex Parody

I wake up, groggy eyed. I belch... too much Hennessy... and scratch my ass. I try and open my eyes, but the sun shining in the window makes me blink repeatedly, hurting my hungover eyes. I reach for the nightstand on my right... I'm lying on my stomach... searching for a beer. I grab the can and bring it to my mouth... fucking empty. Shit!

I belch again and stretch out my left arm. I feel something soft. I move my hand around and still feel something soft. I move my hand lower and feel something soft and shapely. I finally open my eyes and see a blurry ass. I slowly move over to it and inspect it. It's female... thankfully... looks wrinkled... so probably an old broad. I lean down and smell it, spreading the soft cheeks. I see a rosebud... I lick it... tastes nice... So I slide my tongue up it.

I eat out the anonymous, mature booty for a few minutes. My cock gets hard, so I decide to inspect the unknown anus with my hard cock. I climb up on the unknown person and push against the tight anus. The old broad moans, as my rock hard cock slowly, but steadily inches up the tight ass. Damn, I love fucking tight asses. My beer belly pushes the old broad down I to the bed. I start drilling up her ass... that tight, clenching booty locks down on my impaling meat missile a day I start fucking harder. Fuck, it feels good.

The brown haired broad moans louder, still asleep, and wiggles her soft, wrinkled ass while I ram it. She smiles, enjoying the experience. I still don't remember who she is. I'm a fucking hungover and fucked up... a lot of liquor and drugs... I can't remember anything or anyone. I keep fucking that sexy, soft, tight ass deeper harder faster, pounding down into it, ramming my hard cock up it. The anonymous woman moans loud and squirts, soaking my already soaked bed. Her pussy nut mixes with the other pussy cum and piss, already soaked into the sheets.

I blast my wad up that super tight booty... Holy fuck it feels so damn good... filling it with my sex cream. I lean down to kiss the old broad and I see her smiling, biting her bottom lip. She enjoyed my booty work, so I smile. I shake my head to clear it and it dawns on me... she's Nancy Pelosi.

Nancy had hired me as an escort for the evening. We went to dinner and came back to my place for dessert. She had swallowed three loads of my cream, after I fucked those awesome, huge, slightly saggy titties of hers.

I lean down and kiss her. Nancy sucks my tongue, waking up, reaching up and playing with my hair. "Mmmmmmmm... thank you James... I love your cock. My ass loves it too." We kiss some more. I need to piss, so I do. I start pissing in Nancy Pelosi's gilf booty. It pours out around the sides of my cock and her thick, mature booty. I smile and relax... enjoying every fucking second of pissing in such a tight... and powerful woman's... ass.

I love my job. I get paid to fuck famous women. I so get to piss in them when I want... and I wanted to very much, at this exact moment. Nancy smiles, rubbing my face, biting her lip, loving my warm piss enema I'm giving her.

I piss for a full minute... it pours out, all over my sheets... I don't give a fuck... I keep pissing in Nancy's sexy ass, reaching under her and groping those huge titties. I smile so fucking big, feeding Nancy's gilf ass my warm piss enema. I finally stop... kiss Nancy... and roll off of her.

"That's so hot James... I love being used as a urinal. I love drinking piss. I love you pissing in my ass... it's so dirty and depraved. I'm cummmmmmmminggggggggg!!" Nancy closes her eyes and cums. She opens her big labia and I watch her pussy jizz pump out, all over my bed. I lean down and open my mouth, catching it and swallowing it. I suck her mature, bushy cunt, drinking down her pussy cum happily.

Nancy lays me back and wraps those huge, soft tits around my cock, pumping it with them. She licks my plump crown, chewing on it, looking right at me. I fuck her huge tits bard and fast... pounding them, as she holds them around my throbbing manmeat. Nancy smiles seductively at me, blowing me a big kiss, as I pummel those huge old milk jugs. I start jizz in on her sexy face. Nancy sticks out her tongue and laps up the remaining cum, as it spurts out. Nancy sticks the tip of her tongue in my piss slit and licks out any cum left.

Nancy sucks me dry, then smiles at me, wanting more. "I'm thirsty daddy... Please give me something warm a day yellow to drink. Pleaseeeeeee." She blows me a kiss. I smile and start pissing again. Nancy wraps her full, luscious lips around my pissing, twitching cock and suck it all out. She gulps down eight mouthfuls of piss, not missing a fucking drop. I put my hand on her head and push it all the way down on my cock. She gladly plays along, opens her throat and let's me piss right down it. She drinks every warm drop down eagerly. Nancy sucks me bone dry and kisses all over my happy cock when she's done.

We fuck the rest of the day. I pound her pussy, booty, mouth a down those awesome tits. I suck them for an hour straight... drinking her tasty milk down, with a big ass smile on my face, Nancy hugging my head tight to her ample, mature chest.

She's become one of my top regulars. Nancy hires me at least twice a week. She bought me a new pimped out Caddy. I fucked her silly... all night long... as a thank you. She drinks my piss every time we fuck... sometimes she calls me to come over and piss in her coffee or hot chocolate. She pays me, so I do it. Nancy loves piss... she craves it. She's a hot, sex crazed granny. It's fun as fuck... Gettin' Freaky With Nancy Pelosi.

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10/14/2019 

Impregnating Friends

This is a freaky pregnant woman fuck parody... It ain't real.

This is a freaky fuck parody about me getting the women of the TV show Friends pregnant... It takes place in 2002... Enjoy my fellow freaks.

The Village Lower Manhattan, New York 2002

I was chillin' sitting at home with my girl, Rachel. We were smoking some weed and watching TV. I was rubbing her sexy feet... It's a relaxing hobby of mine. The phone rang and Rachel picked it up. It was our friend Monica. "Yeah Mon... What's up?... No, just sitting here with James, watching some TV." She passed me the blunt. "No, I have to work tomorrow. Oh... Sorry. OK, I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"What was that about?" I passed the blunt back to Rachel. She exhaled and coughed. She passed it back to me.

"Monica asked if I was gonna be here tomorrow. It was weird. I have to work and she said she would meet up with me some other time. Weird." I smoked and rubbed my girl's sexy feet. Rachel has beautiful feet. I'm not a "foot guy." I just enjoy relaxing with her and massaging her feet. She enjoys it too. I tickled her.

"Hey you. I'm ticklish. You know that." She winked at me and rubbed my cock, through my pants, with one foot. She's so beautiful. We've been living together for several months. The sex is awesome and she makes me happy, so it's a cool relationship. I pulled her into my lap and kissed her. I felt her up too, massaging those gorgeous tits of hers, through her dark red, HOTTIE, tee shirt. I got it for her. It definitely fits. I ran my hands under it, she wasn't wearing a bra, and fondled her bare tits, as we kissed. The damn phone rang again. Rachel answered it again. She handed it to me. It was our friend Phoebe. She's not only a friend, but she also is a ho for me. Yes, I'm a pimp. A very successful one.

"James, you gotta come get me. I got locked up. I can't call Mike... (Her boyfriend)... Please come quick, ok?"

"Ok babe, I'll be right there." I hung up and gave Rachel a sad look. She smiled sweetly and kissed me. It's part of the job. I take care of my girls. I kissed Rachel again and left to go bail out Phoebe. I bailed her out and she gave me a big hug.

"Thank you so much James. I'm sorry, it wasn't a sex charge though. It was assaulting a cop for trying to pick me up. Damn horny cop." We laughed. I like Phoebe. She's not only a good friend and ho, but she's also a cool person. She can handle herself... And she's got a temper too. She's awesome. She couldn't call her boyfriend Mike because he doesn't know she's a ho. She's a masseuse, who does part time work for me. We got in my car and I drove her home. She looked great, a white, The Clash, tee shirt, short, light blue mini skirt and white stripper pumps. Her long, straight blonde hair in a ponytail that was raised off of her head a few inches. She's a very sexy woman. "I'm really sorry about this again, James. I know you were at home with Rachel. I'm sorry I messed up your quiet evening."

"It's fine babe. It happens. You're a good friend and a good work associate too." I smiled and winked at her. I pulled up to her apartment building.

"I think I should thank you properly, daddy." Phoebe laid the sexy voice on real thick. She reached over and pulled my cock out of my thin sweatpants. She stroked it softly, tickling under the head. It jumped in her smooth hands. She rubbed up and down it softly, slowly. She blew me a kiss, leaned over and licked it from tip to base. It felt so good. She kissed every inch of my cock, leaving red lip prints all over it. She put the head in her mouth and softly chewed on it. She licked under the tongue, as she sucked me in deep. My cock glided over her tongue, hardening in her mouth. She sucked me slowly, shaking her head, that long blonde hair flailing wildly. Phoebe tickled my meaty balls and massaged them. Her tongue glided over every inch of my cock, as she sucked me so expertly.

She quickened her pace, sucking me faster. She licked my shaft, as she sucked me deep into her mouth and throat. She jerked my shaft quickly, wanting my cream badly. I put my hand on her head and pushed it further down on my, solid as steel, cock. She sucked me all the way in, every inch down her throat. Her saliva coated my cock perfectly. Phoebe jerked my cock faster, her beautiful lips wrapped tightly around my shaft, sucking hard, her cheeks puffed out from my cock. I felt my nut surging from my balls, so did she. Phoebe sucked me so amazingly hard, jerking my cock with blazing speed, her hand flying on my shaft. I held her head and came hard. My cock blasted my cream deep in her mouth. Phoebe swallowed every drop of cum, as my cock pumped it out. She sucked me totally dry, moaning her taste approval around my cock, as she sucked me clean.

She kissed my cock, opening her mouth, showing me she swallowed it all. She smacked her lips and licked them so seductively. She blew me a big kiss and put my cock away. She looked at me and slowly licked her lips. Phoebe knows how to be sexy. It's a great trait for not only a great ho to have, but it's also cool as hell, when she flirts. We hugged and she went up to her apartment.

The next day while Rachel was at work, Monica dropped by. She said she needed to talk to me really bad. "I didn't want Rachel to be here James, because what I have to ask you is kinda weird." I was intrigued. "You know, Chandler and I, have been trying to have a baby, but we've had no success. I was wondering... Maybe... Um... COULD YOU GET ME PREGNANT?"

I was caught off guard... slightly... But I kept calm. I looked at her. She had her hands clasped, begging me to help her. She had a sad and sweet look on her beautiful face..."I can't Monica... Sorry."

"Pleaseeeeeeeee." She looked at me so sad. I could tell it meant a lot to her, but I didn't want to get her pregnant. She showed me how convincing she can be. "I know you like me James." Monica reached over and grabbed my cock, through my shorts. She stroked it. "I know you want me. Think about it. You can fuck me as much as you want. It's really hard to knock me up, so... We can fuck a lot." She smiled and stroked my cock slowly. She's definitely pretty convincing. "You fuck other girls anyway, so Rachel won't mind. She knows you fuck Phoebe. Pleaseeeeeee." She took off her tight black blouse and her black bra. "C'mon daddy, knock me up. We can have so much fun. With this cock of yours, I'll definitely have a blast.

I know you like fucking other guys women. Chandler won't know anything. You can fuck me while he's around if you want. It'll be exciting. Pleaseeeeeee daddy." Monica leaned over and softly kissed my neck, stroking my cock faster, slowly licking my neck. My cock was so hard. Fuck it... .. I fucked her.

I pulled her pants and panties off and laid her on the couch. I threw my shorts off, as we kissed and held her arms above her head. I moved my cock, with no hands, it's a gift, to her pussy and slid quickly up it. We kissed, as I fucked her juicy cunt. My rock hard cock twitched, as I plunged up her wet cunt with long quick strokes. Her beautiful tits rubbed my chest, as I fucked her. Monica moaned loudly in my mouth and squirted all over my cock. I fucked her wet, neatly trimmed pussy rapidly, so deep. Her legs wrapped tightly around my waist. She kept moaning into my mouth. I fucked her faster, every inch of my insanely hard cock, tasting her sweet snatch.

My cock drove up her with lust and purpose, wanting to fulfill her wish. I drilled her sexy, wet snatch faster and faster and faster! Monica squirted again, covering my rampaging cock with her sweet cream. I grunted and came hard in her. My cock pumped out my creamy jizz, filling her pussy. Monica screamed in sexual bliss, into my mouth, as we kissed. My cock finished pumping my load up her pussy.

"Thank you James. I hope it didn't work though... I wanna keep fucking you, as much as possible." We laughed, kissing and making out. I agreed with Monica. I hope it didn't work, so we could keep fucking. I had an idea we would keep fucking anyway though.

It continued that way for a week. Monica would come over when Rachel was gone, for privacy, and we would fuck. She would ride me, take it from me doggy style, any way I wanted to fuck her, as long as I came in her sweet, dark haired snatch. It was fun. Monica is very hot and a great fuck too. A week later Rachel came home and found us fucking. She wasn't surprised, as Monica said earlier, she knew I fucked other girls and she was ok with it. She knew about Phoebe and me, so she was ok with it. When Monica told her about wanting me to impregnate her, Rachel was caught off guard... like I was in the beginning.

She actually played along, as she sucked me hard again, after I came in Monica. She got me hard and watched Monica ride my cock for another 20 minutes. I ate Rachel's pussy, as she rode my face and played with Monica's tits. I came again in Monica's pussy, after she came three times. Rachel pulled me out of Monica's pussy, after I filled it once more. She sucked me clean, as she came in my mouth. We 69'ed for a few minutes, licking and sucking each other clean.

"That was fun. I love you James. We need to do that more often." Rachel said, kissing my spent cock. Monica happily agreed. I just smiled. I smacked Rachel's perfect ass and kissed her pussy.

"Your man can definitely fuck Rachel. I hope you don't mind me using him for this." Monica said, playing with Rachel's tits.

"I know he can baby. Of course not Mon. Just make me godmother." They kissed.

"Deal!" Monica happily agreed.

Monica went home to Chandler. Rachel and I were in bed, when she asked me... "James, will you get me pregnant too?" A lot of impregnating requests going around.

"Um... Sure, I guess. Technically, I never agreed to get Monica pregnant. I was just horny and wanted to fuck her... But, since she might get pregnant from it, I guess it's only right if I knock you up too." Rachel laughed and kissed me. Well, that's two... Phoebe couldn't ask me... Could she?

Rachel woke me up, riding me. I reached up and squeezed those gorgeous tits of hers, as she bounced rapidly and intensely on my cock. Her booty slammed down on my thighs. I rubbed her nipples, as I squeezed her tits. Her thick, rock hard nipples felt so good. Rachel came hard, squirting all over my cock, riding me fast. "YESSSSSSSSS!! I LOVE YOUR COCK JAMES!!" Rachel screamed. I leaned up and sucked her tits, pulling her nipples with my mouth, sucking her whole tit in my mouth. I smacked her well toned, tan ass and squeezed it, loving her wet pussy tightly wrapped around my rock hard manmeat. I blasted my cum up her snatch. My cock pumping cum rapidly into her wet hole. Rachel and I kissed passionately, as I filled her twat.

Later that day, Phoebe came over and completed the impregnation request hat trick. "Please get me pregnant James. Monica and Rachel told me about you agreeing to get them pregnant... It fucking turns me on so fucking much. I came twice on the subway ride over here thinking about it." Phoebe took the lead. I didn't have time to answer. She jumped into my arms and knocked me to the floor. She rode me right there, the door open. It turned me on, I have to say. I love public sex and "knocking up" Phoebe, while anyone could watch in the hall was hot.

Phoebe rode me hard and fast, cumming twice. She turned around on my cock with it still in her pussy and rode me, reverse cowgirl, looking at the doorway. Two guys walked by and watched. They cheered us on and Phoebe played along, cheering herself. I reached up, grabbed her small tits and drilled up into her sexy blonde pussy. Her long blonde hair hung down, tickling my face, as I drove my hard cock up into her soaking wet snatch. "I'M CUMMMMMINGGGGGGGGGGG!! YEAHHHHHHHHH!! GET ME PREGNANT JAMESSSSSSSSSS!!" Phoebe screamed in delight, squirting all over my cock. It shot out of her pussy and soaked my balls too.

The two guys in the hall took pictures and chanted, "KNOCK HER UP!! KNOCK HER UP!! KNOCK HER UP!!" I laughed. I came deep into Phoebe's pussy. My cock spurted repeatedly up her cunt. My cream splattered up her wet pussy. It felt so damn good. Phoebe screamed out in ecstasy again and squirted once more. I kept shooting jizz up her pussy. I finally stopped. The guys applauded and left. Phoebe and I kissed, as she laid back on my chest. I had to admit, I was enjoying trying to "knock them up."

We all four kept fucking for a couple of weeks. I found out Rachel and Phoebe did indeed get pregnant. Monica didn't. I felt bad, but I also smiled. Monica and I got to keep fucking. Monica invited us all over for a party. It was to celebrate Rachel getting pregnant with me and Phoebe supposedly getting pregnant with Mike. Monica looked really down down. I know how much being a mom meant to her. I walked up behind her and kissed her neck."Im gonna get you pregnant babe... I promise." Monica smiled so happily at me and hugged me. I felt a special connection with her right then. I was determined to get her sexy ass pregnant.

I went across the hall to our friend, Joey's apartment, to use his bathroom. Monica's was occupied. Monica came in and sat me on the toilet. She sat in my lap, jerking my cock fast. She looked deep into my blue eyes. She had on a rainbow colored sweater and light blue jeans. She kissed me deeply and jerked my cock so fucking fast. I squeezed her gorgeous tits through her sweater, as she jerked my cock as fast as possible. Her hand flew up and down my hard shaft. She could sense I was close to cumming. Monica quickly took her pants off and her white thong too. She quickly shoved my cock up her cunt and rode me. We kissed and I pumped my cum so fucking hard up her cunt. We kissed through my orgasm, as I filled her cunt with my cream.

She broke our kiss and smiled so big and sweet at me. "Thank you for being so sweet to me James. Thank you so much." We hugged tight. I wanted her to get pregnant bad. I cared very deeply for Monica. I just held her and rubbed softly up and down her back. I kept Monica's thong. She smiled and kissed me passionately, she, like I for her, had very strong feelings for me. She put her pants back on and snuck back to the party.

Monica and I fucked every day. I fucked her in her apartment, in her and Chandlers bed. She would reward me for helping her get pregnant, by sucking me off every day, as well. She swallowed every drop of my cum happily. I fucked her in her shower, while Chandler napped in their bed. I was behind her pounding her pussy relentlessly, with her hands on the wall in front of us. She squirted five times and I came in her twice. We fucked in a restaurant while Chandler and Rachel talked. I fucked her at her restaurant, in her kitchen. It was so much fun. It went on for a month.

A month later I was at home with Rachel and I heard Rachel scream on the phone. She ran into the kitchen and told me Monica was pregnant. I smiled so big. I helped my friend fulfill her dream. Rachel and I kissed. All of us went over to Monica's place. She and Chandler were celebrating. Ross, her brother, was there. Monica's parents were there. Phoebe and Mike, even Joey were all there. Monica took me out onto the patio and hugged me. She cried. "Thank you so much James. Thank you from the bottom of my heart." I just held her tight.

"You're welcome sweetheart. You're definitely welcome." We hugged for a few minutes. I felt so close to Monica at that moment. She wanted to get pregnant so bad. I was happy for my close friend. I didn't even mention how fun the sex was.

The next week I had arranged for a client for Phoebe. A lot of guys love pregnant women. She loved the idea. She wanted a gangbang, but I stuck to the one on one. It was a $2000 job. Phoebe handled it perfectly. The guy called me afterwards and thanked me. He said it was the best sexual experience he had ever had. Phoebe came over and rode my cock. She was still horny after the client. She engulfed my hard cock, with her ass. Damn, she's even sexier pregnant. She fucked me off quickly. Her ass took it all in, as my cock spurted out my load, filling her sexy ass. I hooked her up with a bunch more clients. She was even hornier pregnant. She even did her gangbang, after begging me for two weeks.

Rachel was super horny too. I fucked her four or five times a day. She loves anal. I love fucking her ass too. I even hooked her up with a couple of clients too. No gangbangs, just a couple of one on one's and one DP. She filmed all of them, so we could watch when she got home. We did... and fucked all night, each time.

Monica even did some clients for me. She let them fuck her ass only though. She saved her pussy and mouth for Chandler... And me. I went with her each time and watched. I wanted to make her comfortable. It was so hot watching her get assfucked by a stranger for money. Her being pregnant made it even hotter. She would suck me off, in the car, after each job. That was on top of her and I still fucking every day. Monica loves me fucking her and I love fucking her. I realized I really loved... Impregnating Friends.

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10/14/2019 

Driving Ms. Gifford

This is a pussy pounding parody... But, it ain't real... Unfortunately.

I was starting my first day on my new job, driving Kathie Lee Gifford. I was at her home in Greenwich waiting to drive her to NYC. It was veryyyyyyy early. It was the only bad part of my job. I have a massive crush on Kathie Lee and she was very nice when she interviewed me for the job. It pays really well too. She came out and got in the car. She looked awesome, wearing tight jeans and a white turtleneck blouse. A simple outfit, but since it was tight and with her curves, it was very sexy. "Good morning James, how are you sweetie?" She asked, smiling her sweet smile.

"Good morning ma'am, I'm great. May I say you, look gorgeous this morning." I replied, pulling out of her driveway.

"Awwww, you're so sweet dear. Thank you very much. It's always good to hear that, especially from such a handsome hunk like you." She was a charmer too. She blew me a kiss. I looked at the road... and her, in the rear view mirror. She winked at me, while she looked over papers and her phone. I looked at her gorgeous tits. Kathie Lee has some of the sexiest tits ever and they still look great. A little sag, but still full and so suckable. My cock was hard in my pants. I rubbed it, as I drove towards the city. It started raining extremely hard. We were ahead of schedule, so I pulled over for a few minutes to let the rain ease up. You couldn't see more than a couple of feet in front of you, so I played it safe.

"Good idea James. It's raining like crazy out there. Let's wait it out, we have time." A couple of other cars had the same idea.

"So, my handsome driver, I hear through the grapevine that you have a little crush on me." Kathie Lee leaned up towards the front seat, putting her arms on it. Her face was inches away from me. She smelled wonderful. I had told some other staff at her show, that I'm friends with, about my crush on her.

"Yes ma'am, But it's more like a huge crush." I smiled, playing it cool, looking at the rain pummeling the highway. Kathie Lee reached over and started playing with my hair.

"That's so sweet. It's great having sweet fans that tell you how much they adore you and how hot you are. I even get the dirty fan letters. They tell me how they wanna fuck me and cover my sexy face with cum."

"Yeah, sorry about those, I was drunk and horny." We both laughed. She smiled such a beautiful smile still playing with my hair. Kathie Lee leaned in and softly kissed my cheek. She surprised me when she whispered in my ear.

"Tell me what you wanna do to me James." She said in her sexiest voice. My cock was rock hard. She asked... So I let her know. I wanna work my tongue up your sweet pussy, licking you out, making you cum in my mouth. I wanna slam my cock down your throat and fuck it, your saliva coating my cock. I wanna fuck your perfect tits and cover them in my cum. I wanna tongue fuck your great ass, then fuck it til you squirt three times. I wanna fuck your gorgeous pussy like a sex starved maniac, looking right into your eyes, slamming your snatch with my hard cock and cum in it. That's for starters." I smirked.

Kathie Lee didn't say anything for several seconds. I didn't know how detailed she wanted me to get. She turned my face to hers, looked into my blue eyes and kissed me. She picked up her phone and called her producer. "Yes, sorry, but I'm not gonna be able to make it today. Something just came up. I'm really sorry." She winked at me. She pulled her blouse up and pulled her gorgeous tits out of her bra. She shook them for me, as she talked on the phone. She finally hung up and looked right at me.

"Well,,,,,, Looks like we have time, so... I'm all yours." She leaned back in the back seat and took her jeans off. I climbed into the back seat and took my clothes off, throwing them in the front seat. I leaned her back and pulled her panties off. I told her I was keeping them. She smiled. I licked her tasty labia slowly, up and down. Kissing it softly, as I went. I smacked her clit and slid my tongue up her gorgeous, neatly trimmed, mature pussy. I rolled my tongue, side to side, quickly. "Mmmmmmmmmmm, James, I love it."

I pulled her hard clit and shook it, pinching it. I kept rolling my tongue inside her sweet snatch, tasting her sweet, Kathie Lee juices. My tongue tip quickly licked her pussy walls, darting all over. She played with my hair and moaned. I rubbed her clit in circles fast, them smacked it softly. Kathie Lee moaned louder. I licked her out rapidly, then slowly wiped her upper pussy wall with my tongue, all the way, back to front. I quickly licked her out, rubbing her throbbing clit faster, up and down. "I'MMMMMMMMMMMM CUMMMMMMMMINGGGGGGGG!!" Kathie Lee squirted on my quick licking tongue. I lapped it all up.

She pulled my hair, pulling me up to her. I kissed her deeply, letting her taste herself. She moaned into my mouth. We kept kissing. I played with her gorgeous, C cup milf tits. Her nipples were rock hard. I pinched them and pulled them hard, squeezing her slightly saggy tits. Her sweet milk shot out. I rubbed the tips of her hard nipples with my thumbs, as we kissed.

I straddled her chest. She licked out her tongue, licking my 7 inch cock, from tip to base and back. I pulled her head up and slid into her luscious mouth. She sucked me ravenously, licking around my plump head, as she sucked. I cock pumped her mouth, she moaned happily and sucked more intensely. Her mouth felt so damn good. I shoved down her throat and pounded it rough and hard, her saliva pouring out, coating my cock. She looked up at me and smiled sexily around my throat pounding cock. She's such a beautiful woman. A dream cum true. She sucked me faster, deepthroating my entire cock and licking my big balls. I decided to dump a load in her mouth. I have great stamina, so I wasn't worried about it. I grunted and pumped my jizz into her sweet sucking mouth. She swallowed it all happily. She moaned her approval of the taste and kept sucking me. I softly caressed her lovely face and just enjoyed every fucking second of cumming in her hot, famous mouth.

She sucked me dry and I pulled out, laying behind her on the seat, spooning her. I kissed her neck and rubbed my cock on her pussy. I slid up her milftastic and very delicious twat and fucked her, while I groped her tits. I softly bit her neck and fucked that sexy snatch faster. "Fuck me daddy, give me that beautiful cock." She bit her lip and moaned. I fucked her faster, rubbing her perky clit. I reached my head over and sucked her gorgeous tit. I sucked out that sweet milk. Kathie Lee put her arm around my head, as I suckled on her tasty tit. I loved her milk. I kept sucking it out, stuffing as much of her beautiful tit in my mouth as possible.

I drilled up her cunt, rubbing her leg that hung over mine. She moaned louder. I thumped her twat with lustful aggression. My cock flew in and out of her mature pussy. She screamed out in orgasmic pleasure and squirted all over it. I pulled out and pushed against her anus. Kathie Lee smiled devilishly at me. I pushed deep up her ass, as she looked right at me. I slammed my throbbing manmeat up her soft, sexy milf ass hard. She squirted again, covering the back seat of my car. I smacked her clit faster faster faster faster faster faster fasterrrrr. She came again, screaming and squirting. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! FUCK MAMA'SSSSSSSS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" She squirted a massive amount of pussy jizz. I pulled out and laid her on her back. I leaned down and slid my tongue up her ass, rolling it, wiggling it quickly in her ass. I tongue fucked her ass deeply. I got up and put her legs on my shoulders and slammed up her ass. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS JAMESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!"

I pissed up her ass, as I power fucked it. She looked at me kind of surprised, but she smiled. I kept pissing in her ass. It poured out of her ass. It fucked up my car, but I didn't give a shit. I pulled out and pointed my throbbing cock at her face. She opened her sexy, slutty mouth wide and caught my flying piss in it. She swallowed it, licking her sweet, pouty lips. I shoved my still pissing cock up her pussy. I slammed up it super fast. She squirted all over it again, screaming in sheer ecstasy and shooting that sweet pussy nut on my cock and out the sides of her beautiful fucking pussy.

I pulled out again and pissed towards her face. She moved her face around, making sure to get it covered in my piss. "Baptize me baby... Baptize me in your tasty piss!!" Kathie Lee became my whore. She lusted for me and my cock and the feeling was totally mutual. I pissed all over her sexy face and straddled her chest. She wrapped her gorgeous tits around my still pissing cock and I fucked her tits hard. She took it in her mouth and sucked down the piss. I pounded her gorgeous, mature tits and mouth fast. Her red lipstick was smeared all over my cock and my piss washed the rest off of her lips. I grunted, pulled out and covered her amazing tits with my cum. My cock blasting them with my creamy jizz. I shoved into her mouth and she sucked the rest out. She sucked me totally fucking dry.

FUCK SHE'S SEXY!! I smiled as she sucked my cock. She shook her eyebrows and sucked me faster. I grabbed her hair and smacked her face. She smiled around my cock. I smacked her again and pounded her mouth with my cock. She sucked me hard. She chewed on my hard and sucked it, licking under the head and sucking harder and harder. She winked at me. I pulled her hair and fucked her mouth, as fast as humanly possible. She squirted again, just from me fucking her mouth. She pumped out the pussy jizz on my seat and I grunted. I pumped out my cock jizz into her mouth. She sucked down every fucking drop, smiling at me the whole time.

Kathie Lee is one of the sexiest bitches ever. She knows it too. We fucked for another hour right there in my car, on the side of the road. I jumped in the front seat and took off, when a cop pulled behind us. We went through a fast food drive through with her in the front seat and both of us nude. She smiled at the woman handing us our food and leaned over and sucked my cock. The woman smiled and told us to have a nice day. I assured her we already have and we definitely will continue to. She laughed and handed me her number.

Kathie Lee sucked me off and swallowed my jizz. We ate on the way back to her house. We spent the rest of the day fucking and sucking in her house. She let me move in with her. She told me it was easier for me to drive her to work that way... And she could have my cock on call 24/7. She's awesome. I love... Driving Ms Gifford.

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10/14/2019 

Driving Miss Rousey

This is a fuck parody... It ain't real.

"How long have you been driving celebrities?"

"About a year. It's a part time diversion for me."

"Diversion from what?"

"Life in general... No, just kidding, from my other job."

"What's your other job?"

"I'm a pimp."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. Pimpin' ain't easy ma'am."

"Ha. I'm sure. Call me Ronda. I like you James. You're a cool dude."

"The feeling is definitely mutual. Except about the cool dude stuff... You're a cook chick... And hot too. So you manage to be cool and hot at the same time. What a bad ass woman."

"Ha. Thanks. You're a cutie yourself, Mr Pimp Guy. I'm being driven around by a cute pimp... You just never know what life's gonna bring you I guess."

"Yeah, it brought me a gorgeous MMA Queen/Pro Wrestling Goddess... And it brought you the cutest pimp ever... Good day for us both."

"Ha. Yes it is James... Yes it is."

I was having a fun conversation with the one and only, Ronda Rousey. Like I told her, I was driving celebrities around as a part time diversion from my pimp life. I was taking a mini vacation from it. I didn't need the money, I just thought it would be an interesting diversion. I could meet even more celebrities than I already have and make some new friends. I was particularly enjoying this driving job. Ronda is gorgeous and I'm a huge MMA/Pro Wrestling fan, so it was a cool job for me. I kept looking at her in the rear view mirror of my Cadillac. She was wearing a very short and very tight, red mini dress, with holes up the sides, showcasing the fact she wasn't wearing a bra or panties. She also had on red high heels. They had straps around her ankles. She's knows how to dress to impress, I'll give her that. Her long blonde hair was in a braided ponytail. Her makeup was perfect. Great bright red eye liner and lipstick.

She saw me looking at her in the mirror several times. She just smiled or blew me a kiss. Ronda is very flirtatious, so I knew this was gonna be a fun day.

"How's the wrestling biz treating you?"

"It's cool. It's not as stressful as UFC. It's different though. I'm used to training and winning because I was better than my opponent. It's a lot different when you lose, when they want you too. It's an adjustment. I haven't had to lose yet... So I haven't had to deal with how that feels... You watch me on TV huh?"

"Yep. One hand on the remote... One hand on my... Chicken wings. (Smiling at her)... Either that or pizza." Laughing.

"Ha! ... I bet it's on your wings or pizza. You know you whack off while you watch me James. Ha."

"Not really Ronda... That's more afterwards... When I'm in bed fantasizing about you and the freaky things I wanna do to you."

"Oh really?... Freaky things huh? Well, my husband's not here, so tell me about those freaky things you wanna do to me."

"Sorry, first stop." I pulled up to her agents office building. I got out and opened the door for her. She got out and smiled at me. She poked me gently in the chest.

"You owe me details, buddy." Ronda smiled again and walked into her agent's building. I watched her gorgeous ass sway in that tight red mini dress. That woman is fucking hot. I just shook my head and smiled. I sat in the car and waited. I lit a blunt and smoked, to pass the time. Just smoked a little. I didn't wanna be impaired at all. Ronda came back out a half an hour later. I opened the door for her. She smiled and rubbed my face. She was in a very good mood. We got in and went on our way. She could smell the weed in the car. Thankfully she didn't mind.

"Got any of that left? Give me a hit." I handed the blunt to her. She puffed and passed it back to me. We did that a few times, then I put it out.

"Sorry, don't wanna get impaired. I'm driving a multi talented, very gorgeous superstar around, so I wanna have all of my wits about me." I winked back at her in the mirror.

"Yes, you're not only really cute, but you're smart too. Ok Mr Pimp... You owe me details, about your fantasies of me and all the freaky shit you wanna do to me. I'm in a great mood, so now's your chance buddy."

Well, OK. Just some normal sex stuff, you know, eat your pussy for a couple of hours, swallow your pussy cum a few times. Play with your ass, that perfect ass. Smack it, tongue fuck it, eat it out. Fuck you in a bunch of positions with my big cock. Make you cum a dozen times. Eat some ice cream out of your pussy and ass, make you cum some more. Piss in your holes. Cum in your mouth several times... For starters."

Ronda looked at me, processing all the info I just gave her. She thought about it, smiled and leaned back in the seat. She pulled her short mini dress up and exposed her gorgeous, clean shaven pussy. She didn't say a word. She smiled at me and slowly rubbed her right fore finger up her labia, slowly dragging it all the way up it. Thankfully we were at a stoplight, so I could watch peacefully. She stopped at her clit... Then wiped up it quickly. She held her finger up, then brought it to her mouth. She licked her finger slowly, as I watched intently. She softly kissed her finger and winked at me. She then pulled her dress back down to cover her gorgeous pussy.

"Light's green, you can go now." Ronda smiled at me and I laughed and smiled back. Yep, she's at ease all right. A good one too. I pulled off and she got a call. It was her husband, who was supposed to meet her for lunch. Obviously that wasn't gonna happen, by the way she was fussing on the phone.

"We had plans... What's your problem?... I know, but I have things to take care of... Forget it!" Ronda hung up. She was upset, so I didn't say anything. After about a minute of awkward silence, she finally talked.

"James, do you wanna have lunch with me? My idiot husband is being a pain, so I'm by myself I guess."

"Sure. Sorry about your spat."

"It's fine, we argue more nowadays for some reason. You pick where we go. I'm in your hands." She winked at me, teasing again. I pleasantly surprised her by going very simple. We went down to the Santa Monica Pier and got some corn dogs. She loved it. We sat, ate and talked.

"Have you ever been married?"

"Me? No. Pimp's can't get married Ronda... C'mon." We laughed. She looked so sweet and sexy eating that corn dog with ketchup. I looked at her and smiled. I've been a fan of hers for a long time, so it was really cool getting to hang out with her and get to know her... And damn, she looked hot!

"Be careful, don't wanna get any ketchup on that hot dress you're wearing. Wow!"

"You like it huh?" I gave her the "ol' hell yeah I do" look. She smiled the sexiest and sweetest smile I've ever seen her smile.

"You're not just a bad ass... You're a hot dressin' hottie bad ass." I winked at her and finished my corn dog. She finished hers and leaned in to my ear.

"I'm a horny, hottie bad ass too." She winked back at me, laughing. Such a sexy tease, so fucking sexy.

"Tease. Got me all fired up, looking at you, thinking naughty, freaky thoughts about you... and I gotta work. Damn." We both laughed. I realized not only is she one of my biggest celebrity crushes, but she's also a really cool chick, so we could be good friends... With benefits, maybe more. Ronda kissed my cheek and put her head on my shoulder. She, like I, had realized the connection we had. This was a good day so far. Would it get better?... (BIG SMILE)

"I love watching the waves. It's so peaceful and relaxing." Ronda put her left hand on my leg, as we started on the bench and watched the waves. I put my arm around her... She didn't object, so I left it there. She slowly rubbed my leg, her head on my shoulder. "Tell me James. If you ever found the right woman, would you ever consider settling down?" I didn't object to such a personal question. I liked her, so I answered.

"It would have to be one helluva woman. I get to be with any woman... Or most any woman... That I want now. So, to give that up, she would have to be the perfect woman for me... In every way."

"Whats every way?"

"She's gotta be very hot... Maybe wear braided ponytails... And hot red mini dresses... And eats corn dogs on a pier. For starters." Ronda nudged me and we laughed. Two can tease.

"So you're saying I'm perfect for you... In every way?"

"Well, I don't know... We've never explored the other ways... yet." She lifted her head and looked right at me. This was it. The make or break moment. Did I go too far? Find out next week... same bat time... same bat channel... Sorry (laughing), I'll skip the Batman TV show references...

Ronda softly rubbed my face, looking deep into my blue eyes. She smiled. "Take me to your place... and let's explore." I picked her up and carried her to my car. I put in the back seat and rove her back to my place. I picked her up again, her legs around my waist, kissing her and carried her into my condo. I pressed her against the wall and kissed her. She took my shirt off. She licked my face and neck, so filled with lust. We both were. I took her dress off, but left her heels on. She yanked my pants off, smiling at my cock, when she saw it. Ronda knelt down and engulfed my big cock. She deepthroated the whole thing. Fuck, she's sexy.

She looked up at me, smiling lustfully at me around my cock. Her cheeks bulging around my head and shaft. She licked the underside of my cock as she sucked greedily up and down it. I grabbed her ponytail and fucked her face. She let me take charge, as I drove my cock hurriedly into her gorgeous mouth, her red lipstick smeared all over my cock. I fucked her mouth and throat hard. She loved it, moaning happily as I used her for my oral pleasure. I fucked her mouth and throat harder and harder. She massaged my balls so nicely, smiling up at me with that very beautiful face.

I laid Ronda on the couch and knelt on the floor, her legs hanging off of the couch I smiled at her and kissed her very beautiful, juicy pussy. I licked up and down her labia, wiggling my tongue, slowly wiping up on it, as I winked at her. She blew me a kiss. I spread her labia and snaked my tongues up her tasty twat. I rolled it side to side, licking quickly as I went. Ronda moaned and played with my brown hair. She bit her lower lip, writhing against may face. I licked her out fast, my tongue mercilessly darting all over her twat. I smacked her erect, pink clit softly. Smack after smack on the tip of her clit. I twisted my tongue in and out of her pussy, now rubbing her clit in circles, quickening my pace. I licked her out faster, my tongue lapping up her tasty juices, desperately wanting her sweet nectar. She gave it to me. "AHHHHHHHHHH, I'M CUMMMMINGGGGGGG!!" Ronda squirted her pussy cream all over my darting tongue. I lapped it all up happily.

Ronda wrapped her smooth legs around my hard and ground her pussy on my face. I rubbed her clit faster and faster. My eyes locked on hers. I licked every drop of juice out of her pussy. My tongue rolling faster, licking faster and faster. I pinched her erect clit HARD! Then I rubbed it in circles as fast as possible. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! HERE IT CUMS BABY!!" Ronda licked her tongue at me, smiling big. She squirted hard on my tongue again. I licked her out, tasting it all. She ground that tasty twat all over my face and I ate it hungrily. Ronda has one of the best tasting pussies ever. I ate it with a huge smile on my face. I kept lapping up her cream, rubbing her clit as fast as possible, now up and down. My tongue rolled so fast. I twisted it in and out of her pussy rapidly. She moaned again and squirted once more on my tongue. The squirt hat trick.

I lapped up her abundant, tasty juices. I licked her totally clean, kissing her pussy and smacking my lips, as I leaned back and looked up at her. She just smiled so happily at me. She leaned down to me, kissing me deeply. Our tongues fucked madly in our mouths.

I picked her up, still kissing her, and carried her to my bedroom. I tossed her on the bed, she smiled, wiggling her eyebrows at me. I licked her gorgeous C cups, kissing all over them, softly biting them. I sucked her tits hard, rubbing the other nipple with my thumb. I alternated tits, sucking and licking both equally. Her small, hard nipples looked so good. I licked the tips of them in my mouth, sucking them hard, pulling them as far as possible. I let them snap back into place. Ronda moaned loudly. I put her muscular, smooth legs on my shoulders and rubbed my insanely hard cock up and down her wet labia. She moaned loud, her hands on my face.

I pushed up her warm, welcoming pussy, inching my way up that perfect pussy, stretching it with my girth. I fucked her with short quick thrusts. In and out quickly, my cock driving up her sexy snatch. Ronda rubbed my face, moaning loudly, her beautiful gray eyes locked on my blue eyes. Our mutual lust for each other burning through our gazes. I fucked her pussy harder, now with deep, long thrusts. My rock hard cock pushing all the way up that sweet pussy faster, harder, all the way. Ronda moaned, her mouth opened wide. I fucked her pussy faster and faster and faster!!

Ronda came hard, squirting all over my cock. I pounded her pussy so fucking hard, my lust and desire for her driving me. My cock flew up her pussy with blazing, lust driven speed, pounding her twat relentlessly. Ronda loved every bit of it, blowing me kisses, licking her tongue at me. The bed was shaking from our nookie. I kissed her, holding her arms above her head, drilling up that sexy snatch with awesome speed and power. My cock loving every second of being in Ronda's warm wet pussy.

She squirted again all over my cock. I flipped over on the bed, my cock still in her and laid on my back. I pulled her on top of me. She rode me wildly, throwing her head around, screaming in ecstasy, smiling big at me. Ronda pinched my nipple hard and slammed her ass down on my thighs, taking every fucking inch of my hard cock. She came again. She growled in lustful delight. She was a predator and me and my big cock were her prey. Fuck, she was so fucking sexy!!

Ronda smacked my face, licking her lips. "FUCK ME JAMES! GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU GOT BABY! FUCK ME MOTHERFUCKER!!" I reached up, squeezed her gorgeous tits and pounded up into her pussy as fucking fast as I could. My motherfucking cock flew up her awesome pussy with lightning quick speed. "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YEAHHHHHHHHHH BITCHHHHHHH!! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" I slammed up her pussy harder and fucking HARDERRRRR!! Ronda squirted again and I just kept thumping up into her pussy. She growled her approval at me, smacking my face and pinching my nipples and I gave her my big fucking cock with absolute fucking delight. My cock flew so fucking fast in and out of her twat. She kept squirting on my cock, my bed, me, every fucking where. I kept pummeling her pussy. She kept begging me for more. "GIVE ME THAT BIG FUCKING BEAUTIFUL COCK BABY!! I FUCKING LOVE IT BABY!! FUCKKKKKKKKKKK!!" I fucked Ronda like that for another twenty minutes. She squirted four more times. She laid on my chest, her head by mine and took it all.

I smacked that perfect ass hard, she moaned loud, loving it. I smacked it again and again, as I fucked her pussy mercilessly. I finally pumped my huge load up her pussy. She looked right into my eyes and smiled so sweet. We connected on a completely different level. She was mine now and she knew it. My cock pumped spurt after spurt of jizz up her pussy, overflowing it. It ran out onto my balls. We kissed and hugged, as her body trembled in delight. She squirted again. It flooded out onto my balls also. I held her, rubbing softly up and down her back. We kissed deeply. She hopped off of me and leaned down to my twitching cock, sucking it totally dry. She cleaned off her juices and mine. She licked and sucked my big balls clean too. She looked up at me, smiling so sexy and sucked my balls into her mouth, sucking up every drop of pussy and cock cum. She kissed them and my cock.

We rested and ate. The rest didn't last. I bent her over the kitchen counter and shoved my tongue up her ass. I tongue fucked it for 15 minutes. I smacked her ass and spread those cheeks wide. Ronda loved the ass play, wiggling it on my face. I smacked her ass again. She squirted on my kitchen floor. I didn't care. I fucked her ass too. I squeezed those beautiful tits, as they hung down. Ronda screamed in delight, as I thumped her ass quickly then slowly, alternating my pace. Her ass felt so fucking good. I pulled her ponytail hard and smacked her ass. "Who's ass is this bitch? Tell me Ronda."

"Its yours daddy. It's all yours. I'm yours baby." She smiled back at me I kissed her. I fucked her ass through three more squirts. My floor was slippery, but we avoided falling. I took her in the shower and we fucked there. We bathed and fucked, soaping each other up and fucking ourselves silly. I came up her perfect ass. She knelt down and sucked me clean. I soaped up her pussy and fucked it. I fucked her tits and her mouth. She came five more times in the shower. I came three. I pissed in her pussy and ass, as I fucked them. Ronda fucking loved it. It was her first time.

We went back to my bed and she rode me so intensely and happily, reverse cowgirl. She jammed my cock up her ass again. She rode me so fucking hard. She squirted so hard too, it blasted across my room and onto my TV. Fuck it, I'll get another one. I just wanted Ronda, I didn't care about anything else. I fucked up into her ass, super blazing fast. My throbbing cock flew up that beautifully muscular ass. "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!" Ronda squirted all over my room. We fucked for another two hours. Every position, every hole, everywhere. Cum flew everywhere. It was so fucking fun. I even ate ice cream out of her pussy and ass, after we showered and cleaned up again.

Ronda dumped her husband and moved in with me. We fuck every minute we can. We have a very special connection, not just sexual, we connect on an emotional level too. She helps out with my pimping too. We co pimp my women. She's a fucking cool ass chick. She's so good to me. She's always buying me things, always wanting to please me. I'm so glad I took the job driving her. I met my soul mate... And my fuck mate. All because I was... Driving Miss Rousey.

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10/14/2019 

Face Blasters ESPN

FUCKED UP AND FREAKY FACIAL FUCK PARODY

I've been having a wonderful time running ESPN. I was hired by Disney to revamp the Worldwide Leader In Sports. I already had an idea of the inner workings of the cable giant. I have a couple of fuck buddies here... Linda Cohn and Maria Taylor... and my girlfriend Sarah Spain. I knew what I needed to do, to jack up ratings... I think we all know where I'm going with this.

I was fucking Sarah in my office the other day. She was bent over my desk... nude... while my rock hard dick pummeled her gorgeous, bald and extra juicy cunt from behind. "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!" Sarah squirted for the fourth time... while I snorted some coke. I handed it to her and she snorted two lines off my desk. I love that bitch... She knows how to party.

I squeezed her round rump... smacked the fuck outta it... and pulled her long brown hair. Sarah is a fuck goddess.. She always horny and always freaky... it's why she's living with me. She's got awesome, big, natural tits too. I reach down with my right hand and grope her right titty, as it hangs down and jiggles wildly. I pull her hair with my left hand and piledrive up that soaked snatch... slamming against her thighs... my desk shaking from the force of the pussy pounding I'm giving Sarah.

"FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK MEEEEEEEEEE JAMESSSSSSSSSS...FUCK IT FEELS GOOD!!" Sarah screamed out... squirting again. We fucked for about 30 minutes... a nice mid afternoon break from work.

I squeezed those big, beautiful titties... they feel so fucking good, I squeeze as hard as I can... and pummel my dick up Sarah's nice and tight, gripping pussy. I feel my cum blast coming, so I pull out and turn Sarah around, pushing her to her knees. I jerk my cock super fast and splatter that beautiful face with my jizz cream. It plops out... big squirts of cum... all over Sarah's smiling face. I blow her a kiss and immediately start pissing all over Sarah's face, washing the cum away. Sarah opens up and engulfs my pissing cock... sucking time hard... Suctioning the piss out of my piss slit... guzzling it down with a smile.

My fuck buddy ESPN sideline hottie Maria Taylor walks in my office and strips off her jeans and tight black tee shirt. She leaves her black heels on... I love it... and drops to her knees in front of me. Maria and Sarah suck me dry... gleefully sucking out every drop of piss in me.

Sarah jerks my cock off ridiculously fast into Maria's ebony mouth. Maria sucks the plump, her long tongue wrapping around my sensitive head... smiling up at me, as Sarah jerks my shaft with both hands. I reach down and grope Sarah's big tits, loving every second of the double hottie hand/blowjob.

Maria opens her mouth wide... her tongue outstretched under my cock, licking the super sensitive underside of my cock. Sarah jacks me as fast as she can. I start cumming on Maria's tongue. She gulps it down. Sarah pulls my cock out of Maria's mouth and points it at her face. It pumps out my cum like a squirt gun... pelting Maria's beautiful black face with several ass of white, creamy jizz. I cover that black hottie's face. Sarah smacks my cock on Maria's tongue... then they take turns sucking the last drops of cum out of my cock and balls.

"Mmmmmmmm... I love your cum boss man." Maria compliments my jizz... sucking me dry.

"You're a lucky girl Sarah. Mmmmmmmm." Maria licks my cum from her beautiful, cum glazed lips and kisses Sarah. They play with each other's tits and swap my cum... kissing deeply, as I watch.

Later on in the women's bathroom...

"Zoom in close bitch." I tell Linda Cohn. She's filming me cumming on her face. She's one knees... her skin tight red blouse on the floor... her gorgeous, enhanced tits wrapped around my cock... pumping it, as I cum... squirt after squirt of jizz... on her mature face.

Linda is a slut... not just mine. She fucks anyone I tell her to... and anyone that's around, when she horny... which is all the time. I finish painting her face... Linda snaps several pics for her Instagram and sucks me totally clean. I pull back when she's den and cover her hair, face and gorgeous C cups with my piss. It splatters everywhere. Linda drinks several mouthfuls of piss. I slam down her throat and fuck it brutally, as I piss down it. Linda loves rough sex.

After Linda... I splatter my cum all over another fuck buddy Chris McKendry's beautiful, mature face. She only fucks me and her husband. She loves my cum though. I coat her face with dick cream, then let her drink down the rest. As a matter of fact, she drinks down two more loads of jizz... And eight mouthfuls of piss.

Holly Rowe is next. She gets a face full of my creamy wad and a stomach full of my warm piss. She also gets a brutal butt fucking before she leaves.

Sage Steele drinks a load of cum and piss.. And poses for pictures, covered in my dick cream. Her beautiful mocha face covered in my cum. Sarah takes about a hundred pics... then licks her face clean. I ass fuck Sage too. I love her tight ass... she loves my white dick pounding the fuck outta it too. I fill her booty with cum and piss... and watch my girl Sarah suck it all out. She and Sage are it, as they kiss... and as I film it all.

I love my job. I get paid to fuck... and cum all over... hot sports bitches. I came on Serena Williams face... after I booty banged her for two hours straight... when she came to the campus for a commercial shoot. I plastered Ronda Rousey's gorgeous face when she came over to promote WWE and do a Sportscenter interview. She swallowed so much piss, it's insane... about 26 mouthfuls. I came on her face three times too. Sarah filmed it... for our private, exclusive website... and viewing.

Another day... another day of cumming on famous chicks faces... Face Blasters ESPN.

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