My eyes are rollin' like skates. Cardi (Cardi B) got me all funkdified in the most pleasurable way possible. That wet ass pussy got me feeling good and all fresh in tha hood. Ha.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Big ass white dick. My favorite. Hahahaha! WOO!!! Yeah, daddy! Work dat shit, daddy! Fill me up! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."

Ain't much working on my end. I'm just laid back on the bed, grinning like a freak taking a leak. I'm pissing in Cardi's sweet brown coochie while she slowly swirls it around on my fourteen inches of white dick fame. So slow and steady and fucking perfect. Jesus, this bitch can fuck!

Cardi's smiling down at me, pinching my pierced nipples nice and hard. Smirking... long ass tongue out and wiggling... and eyebrow shaking. All sexy, slutty and shit. God damn, I'm lovin' this bitch right about now. I'm zoned out on all my other bitches, just thinking about my girl Cardi right now. That magic coochie casting a spell all over my tattooed... shiny gold stars all over my dick and balls... pissing monster. Her pussy eating my meat, and my piss up. Drinking that yellow dick wine, so damn fine.

Her brown coochie pie swirling my pissing cock around a little faster now. She's bouncing on it as she swirls it, dancing that pussy and that thick, extra gorgeous ass all over my crotch. Fuck!!! I might cum and piss at the exact same time. Don't know of that's ever been done before. Fuck!!! Cardi's bouncing hard on my cock, slamming down on it, then swirling it all the way around faster and faster, then dancing on it, hot and heavy. Popping and dropping it like it's blazing hot. Piss shooting out her coochie hole the whole damn time. I slap the fuck putt them butt cheeks. That makes my bitch scream and smile, blowing me big slutty kisses all the damn while.

"I'M CUMMINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG, DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! YES, YESY, YES, YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!" Cardi squirts like a fountain, all over me. The second I stop pissing, I start cumming in her. Sperm shooting like a machine gun all up in that thunder quaking coochie pie. Sweet as brown sugar, my oh fuck yeah my.

Cardi kisses me deep, dirty and extra kinky. That long, magical tongue of hers molesting mine. Our horny spit racing between our sexually heated mouths. Cardi's screaming and creaming into my mouth, dancing her violently spasming pussy on my cock as I dump my mighty load up there. My giant white cock jumping and tingling all over so fucking crazy. IT'S ALL AWESOME, BITCHES!

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." Cardi licks my lips with that incredible tongue of hers, grinning so sexy at me. Her arms wrapped around my neck. She kisses me. Real slutty and loud. "Damn, you can fuck, daddy. I hope you knocked me up again. I wanna have a bunch of babies with you. Hahaha! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." I slap her extra thick, inked up brown badonkadonk and squeeze it, nice and rough. Cardi shakes it for me and moans so damn sexy in my mouth, sucking deep on my tongue.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Daddy so nasty with tha pissin' in my coochie. Haha. I love it! I love dat shit! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. AYEEEEEEE!!! Hahaha." More deep, messy spit swapping kissing. Fuck yeah!

Another big booty slap for my bitch. Another very appreciative moans from her. And... we blaze up. Smoking some real good shit my baby mama Latifah (Queen Latifah) scored for me yesterday.

"Andy's begging me for some pussy, daddy. He be begging me all tha damn time. He old and shit, but he's sweet. He bought me a bottle of Henny and a bottle of Cristal yesterday. I let him feel me up in his car for dat shit. I jerked his dick too. He got a funky ass white dick, baby. Freaky as shit. Haha! I like it. I like freaky shit. You know dat, fo sho. Hahaha! Ayeeee!" Cardi puffs deep... her specialty, ha... then leans over and kisses me again, sharing her smoke with me. Damn, I love that.

"Yeah... he's cool. He's always trying to fuck somebody. Nice dude. He's got a hella cool liquor cabinet. All kinds of dope bourbon and shit in there." I puff and pass to my girl. We're laid back in the bed, relaxing. I'm ignoring my phone. I'm getting a bunch of texts from different chicks. I'm all about Cardi when I'm with her. She really appreciates that too. Oh yeah. She REALLY appreciates it. Ha.

"Oh yeah? I might have to check dat shit out myself. I'm sure he won't mind. Haha. Maybe I'll let him tap dis ass for the right shit. If he can handle it. AYEEEE! HAHAHA!" Cardi rolls back on me, all horny smirking and laughing and all. Rubbing that soaked ass brown pussy all over my soft, sex cream covered white meat. Yep... here we go again. Told ya she really appreciates it. Ha.

Meanwhile, my mom Kelly (The Queen Of Porn Kelly Madison) is dealing with my boy Newman (Seinfeld). She caught him peeping her in the outdoor shower, in the back yard... again.

"You can't ever let me shower in peace, can you, Newman?"

"Umm... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Kelly. I really am. I..." Dude's all flustered and nervous and shit. Mom's working him. And, she's gonna have fun doing it.

"You drilled a hole in the wood so you could peep me? You fucking pervert! Damn! Where's my knife? I should cut those big ass balls of yours off." Mom feigns anger. She's very believable at it too.

Newman's scared shitless now. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!! PLEASE DON'T CUT MY BALLS OFF!!! OH KY GODDDDDD!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Newman's crying like crazy, and dancing around all nervous and scared.

Mom's laughing to herself as she gets dressed. Her long blonde hair pinned up on her head.

Newman's too fucking scared about losing his balls to notice mom's all natty 34FFs right there, staring him in the face while she pulls her skin tight white jeans up her long, silky smooth legs and super smooth and jiggly booty as well.

Mom shakes her head and laughs as she throws on her white tank top... no bra under it. Mom's rock hard nipples poking right through that thin white material.

Newman's still dancing around, crying his eyes out, scared shitless, those short pudgy legs of his tip tapping all crazy.

Mom decides to cut the ball busting short. Newman's over the top, scared pussy antics are annoying her.

"Dude, chill. I'm not gonna cut your balls off. I was just teasing. Geesh." She shakes her head again and laughs once more at my buddy. Her arms folded under her tank top covered breasts. A sly, devious smile on her incredibly perfect, 55 year old milf face.

"What in tha hell is all this damn noise out here?"

"Hey, mama. Newman was peeping me in the shower, so I was teasing him about cutting his balls off." Mom chuckles. Her mom, adopted mom, Oprah (Oprah Winfrey... Or Hood Bitch Oprah) strolls out the back door, big pink curlers all in her gray hair, smoking a fat blunt.

"Well, well. A peeping tom. A weird, ugly ass white one on top of it." My grandmama laughs. She passes the blunt to mom and looks over Newman. He's calmed down slightly now, figuring he's not gonna lose his big hairless nuts. "That's a real nice dick. I'll give you that, whiteboi. Some real nice balls too." Oprah lifts Newman's nuts up, and checks them out. He's squirming around, still nervous. She bounces those big white balls in her hand and rubs them. "Real nice balls. You got alotta cum in them, whiteboi?" Grandmama Oprah is a legendary cock tease. She fucking loves doing it too.

Mom passes back to her mom. She's smirking big time, really enjoying watching her mom teasing ol' Newman.

"Yeah... Umm... I guess so." Newman swallow hard, trying to grin, but not really able too. Dude's still nervous. His dick is extra hard though. His shorts are still around his ankles. His huge veiny dick is pointing straight out. It's gotta be the fattest dick ever. I think he said it's eleven inches thick. It's only about six and a half inches long though. Extra funky white dick.

"You think? You a virgin some shit? You don't know how much you cum? What your fucking problem, whiteboi?" Grandmama Oprah really lays it on thick. She winks over at mom, who laughs. Oprah puffs deep on the blunt, then blows the smoke right in Newman's face as she grabs his super fat fucking white dick. She passes the blunt back to mom, and starts jerking Newman off. He's crying again, now scared about my grandmama chopping his balls off or something. But... he starts growling happily from her impromptu handjob, so that eases his perverted, scared weasel mind a little.

"Damn, this is fat. Jesus! I can't even wrap my fingers around it." My grandmama stores that huge white meat, pumping it quick. The huge veins running down the shaft bulging as Oprah's very, very seasoned hand works that white meat so damn right. Precum starts pouring from Newman's piss slit, hanging off of the tip of his dick. His chunky white body shaking. His dick jumping in my grandmother's black pumping hand.

Mom watches and grins, licking her extra luscious lips at that immensely fat, precum pouring rod with all those thick, bulging veins running down it. Her nipples are thumping inside her tank top.

"Damn, tastes good too." Grandmama Oprah swipes some precum off of the tip of Newman's white dick, and sucks her creamy finger clean. "Finger lickin' good shit." She laughs. She keeps on jerking white monster. Her black hand pumping it fast now. Those huge veins bulging even more the faster she pumps that fat white weiner.

Newman's growling outta control, sweating and dancing around all happy as my grandmother expertly works his dick.

"You gonna cum for me, whiteboi?"

"Yes... Umm..." Newman's gulps hard. Sweating profusely. "Yes ma'am. I sure am." His short, chubby legs dancing spastically as his white dick jumps hard in my grandmother's fast pumping black hand.

"Good..." Oprah kneels down and sucks that entire, enormous dick down her throat. Not gagging whatsoever on that massively fat, precum spewing white organ. She bobs on it, spit hanging from her mouth to the grass below.

"OH GOD! OH GOD!" Newman grabs grandma as curlers. She immediately slaps his hands away. He starts cum shooting right down her throat. Grandmama just swallow. Fast and furious. Drinking the entire gooey load with her face buried in Newman's hairless... he shaves down there, he hates pubic hair... crotch.

Grandmama Oprah slap Newman's chunky white ass, nice and hard, spurring him on to cum even more.

He jumps and tries to cum some more. He unloads a hefty load of thick cream down my grandmother's greedy gullet. She sucks down every last drop and sucks back to the tip of his dick, shaking her gray haired, with big pink curlers, head around wildly, then loudly popping her mouth off of the end of the extra fat white dick, letting it bounce around in front of her very sexy black grandma face.

Oprah gets up and takes the blunt from mom, smoking for a minute, then passing back to her. She doesn't say a word to Newman. He stands there sweating, grinning from ear to ear.

Mom laughs and smirks, loving how her mom worked ol' Newman.

"Not bad cum. You should try it." Grandmama Oprah winks at mom, then walks back in the house. Mom sucks on the cum tinted blunt and she smokes, realizing that her mom was right about Newman's seed. She likes the taste.

Mom waves at Newman, shaking her head and laughing at him too, as she walks back in the house as well.

Newman just stands there, shorts bunched around his ankles, grinning like an idiot, so happy about my grandmama swallowing his seed... and, so glad he's still got his big hairless balls.

Tune in next time for more of my mom, my grandma a, some other assorted freaks... and possibly even more Cardi B and Newman. If he can stop being a scared pussy for a few. Peace, peeps.