EPISODE 01 : BIG BANGING REDNECK THEORY

"Damn... I gotta put my damn dick in somebody. If I don't find a pussy quick, it's goin in your fat ass Spence." I blurt out, horny as hell, driving my pickup.

"Wait... huh?" Spence (The King Of Queens) gets all timid. I laugh.

We're on our way to the Cheesecake Factory. It's Tighty Whitey Day. Yeah... me and my crew are wearing tighty whities and nothing else. It's a fun little game we play. It's a tradition around here... And yeah... I'm horny as fuck. My big ass dick wasn't made for no damn tighty whitey underwear.

We pull up in my red, off road pickup. I half ass park and we all head inside. Me and Spence were up front, Snitzky (Former WWE Superstar Gene Snitzky), Braun (WWE Superstar Braun Strowman) and my sexy ass bodyguard Nia Jax (WWE Superstar) all head inside. Nia's got on a white sports bra too. She's got some sweet ass Samoan titties. I fucked Nia before we headed out, so, don't tell Spence, I would've fucked her again instead of him. I like to make him uncomfortable though. Ha.

We pile in the Cheesecake Factory and find a big table. Everybody is staring. I love that shit. I shake my dick at em and laugh. Braun moons em. Sometimes we get hassled on Tighty Whitey Day. I just pay off the manager or fuck em, if they're a hot chick, and things get smoothed out. I'm not politically correct, so me and my crew are always stirring shit up. I love it. It makes life fun.

I've already paid off the manager at the Cheesecake Factory. I hook him up with some weed too. He's a smoker, so that works out for us.

My favorite waitress, Penny, walks over, smiling. "Hey guys. Tighty Whitey Day, huh?" Penny's tall, blonde, has great C cup tits and a tight, smooth, perfectly shaped ass. Hot ass honey for sure.

"Yep." I reply, my left arm around her waist. I squeeze her ass. Penny's got one of the sweetest asses I've ever seen... or fucked. Yeah... we fool around. She's married to some scientist named Leonard. Little nerd dude. She's way too hot for him.

A couple minutes later, Penny and I are in the ladies bathroom and I'm giving her super sweet twat the ol big pickle tickle. We're making out and my hands are all over that perfect ass, as my ten thick drives harder and harder up her slick and soaked pussy. Penny's sitting on the counter, her arms wrapped around my neck, kissing me, taking all ten thick inches up her tight twat, moaning so loud into my mouth.

"Mmmmmmmmm... FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! God, I love your cock!" Penny makes me smile. I squeeze her supple ass and hammer away up her warm wet pussy. The counter creaks and cracks from the pussy fucking I'm giving Penny. A couple chicks stare in disbelief, then just wash their hands and head the fuck out. I laugh into Penny's mouth.

I can feel the rumble in my balls. I'm ready to pop. Penny knows it too. She pulls off me and slides to the fucking floor. Penny bites my thick, bulbous head. Precum pours out onto her outstretched and wiggling tongue. She gulps it down quickly.

Penny bobs that long blonde haired head on my bulging cock, her sweet lips sliding tightly up and down my thick, aching shaft. I hold her beautiful blonde head and grunt in ecstasy. "FUCK!!" I explode my jizz into her sucking mouth. Penny swallow quick, not missing a single, thick, gooey drop. She eagerly drinks down my whole load, with the prettiest, yet sluttiest smile you've ever fucking seen.

Penny deep throats me, sucking my happy dick dry. Her smooth, wet, pink lip gloss smeared lips drag my shaft, suctioning out every single drop of cum in me. Penny pops her mouth off of my cock loudly over and over, licking the piss slit, softly chewing on my sensitive head. That bitch can suck a cock clean for sure.

We hang out for a few in a stall and smoke a blunt. Penny's sits on my lap, her left arm around my neck, as we pass the blunt and get high.

"Bernadette got me an interview with her boss. It's for a sales rep. Job at her pharmaceutical company. I hope I get it. It pays way better than this waitress job." Penny tells me, as we smoke... and I play with her beautiful C cups through her tight, white and yellow waitress uniform.

Bernadette is her friend... and another fuck buddy of mine. She's a blonde hottie micro biologist that used to work as a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory when she needed some extra cash. Damn, I love her big titties. Bernie's got awesome, natural D cups and they are so perfectly shaped and soft.

Bernadette's another hottie way too hot for her nerdy engineer hubby Howard. She's a cum whore too. She can't get enough of mine. Bernadette told me it's how she got her job, so Penny better be ready. She's got the skills to pay her bills, so she shouldn't have any problems "passing" her interview.

"Bernadette says her boss is really horny, so you should be able to charm him, no problem babe." I tell Penny, kissing her neck and squeezing her gorgeous, perky breasts.

"Yeah, she told me too. I really want the job, so I hope Leonard doesn't find out. He's still upset about me blowing my boss here for a raise. It's tough for a girl out there, so sometimes you gotta use what you got to get ahead. Leonard needs to understand that. He still hasn't found out about how I pay the rent from time to time. My part time acting career hasn't gone too well, so a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do." Penny says, smiling at me, smoking, then kissing me. I dig her. She's a really cool chick.

A little later at Bernadette's house... she invited me over... I'm on the couch with Nia on the floor giving me one of the best blowjobs I've ever fucking had. I bring Nia with me a lot. I'm always horny and she's one of my favorite slutty fucks.

Those slick, red lips stretching tight around my redneck white dick. Damn, that bitch can suck. She's looking up at me, smiling so pretty and sweet... a devilish tint to that sweet smile. I groan and down my fourth Budweiser. I have number five warming... yes, I said warming... in Nia's super fucking, phat brown ass. I poured it in there earlier.

Nia bobs her beautiful head on my super thick dick, her dark hair flying wildly. Those soft lips dragging up and down my aching, white shaft. Her tongue is drooling saliva all over my white shaft, making it slicker for those gorgeous red lips. Her lipstick smears on my cock, as Nia keeps sucking me faster, sensing my impending cum dump into her fucking slut mouth.

I feed my bitch well. My cock quickly pumps out my thick seed right into Nia's fast sucking mouth. She gobbles it down, drinking every slimy, thick drop of white cum in me. She smacks her sexy lips as she pulls off my redneck meat. Nia kisses the fat head, then licks the piss slit slowly, smiling at me. Sexy slut. I smile and blow her a big "FUCK YEAH" kiss.

Bernadette joined us. Howard's at the comic bookstore... stupid motherfucker... so Bernie decided to ride me, wearing only her gray sports bra and nothing else. God damn, she's got sweet ass titties! I drink six more Buds while the blonde bitch rides my dick on her couch.

Nia is behind Bernadette, playing with her big titties through her sports bra. She's shaking em and squeezing em. I'm slapping em and downing my damn beer. "YESSSSSSSSSS!! GOD, I LOVE YOUR BIG COCK JAMESSSSSSSS!! FUCK ME DADDYYYYYYYYY!!" Bernie yells out, as she squirts all over me.

Nia leans down and sucks my big, hairy balls, licking up Bernie's pussy cream at the same time. Damn, I love my redneck life.

I hand Bernie a beer and she chugs it, squishing the can and tossing it aside, belching. I love this little blonde bitch.

Bernie lifts her sports bra over her fat titties and squeezes the nipples, shooting her titty milk right into my mouth. Beer with a titty milk chaser... my kinda drink!

"Take that redneck dick slut! Yeahhhhhhhh!" I says, smiling my horny redneck ass off.

"I LOVE YOUR BIG REDNECK COCK JAMESSSSSSSSSSS!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bernie screams out in orgasmic bliss, squirting all over me again. I keep Pounding up I to that sweet, tight twat, as she bounces hard and wild all over my throbbing ass dick.

I cum deep up Bernie's neatly trimmed, blonde twat, right as she squirts again. A mutual orgasm for us and more titty milk straight from the tap, as I lean up and suck those gorgeous D cups relentlessly, thirsty for that sweet mama's milk, stuffing as much of em in my mouth as I can. Bernie hugs my head to her fat tits and I keep sucking. She leans up, letting my dick slide out of her cream filled pussy and Nia gets to work, sucking me and Bernadette clean. Fuck, I love that shit!

The next day, Penny calls me to tell me about her job interview. "It went great sweetie. I got the job. Yay!" Penny tells me excitedly.

"I'm happy for you sweet tits. Ha. Did you have to throw some pussy at him?" I get right to the point everyone is interested in.

"Yeah. Pussy and ass. I even sucked him off before I left. He offered me more money than I was expecting, so I got excited... so I swallowed. I haven't swallowed Leonard in awhile, so I'm definitely not telling him about my interview." Penny says.

"Give me some horny ass details baby." I tell Penny, jerking my big ass, redneck dick on my bed in my trailer.

"Oh, details. You playing with yourself?" Penny knows damn well I am. She giggles through the phone. Penny blows me several sexy kisses and licks the phone, moaning slutty moans, teasing the fuck outta me. My girl is a sex bomb, exploding all over my mind.

"Well... I went in and sat down. Bill and I chatted for awhile..." I cut off Penny in mid sentence.

"Get to the good stuff baby, I'm hard and wanna cum all over your sexy slut ass... Through the phone." I tell my hot ass girl. We both laugh.

"OK sweetie. I could tell he was rubbing his cock through his brown slacks, behind his desk. He was staring at my cleavage, in my low cut white blouse... no bra. I really wanted the job." Penny giggles and blows me another slutty kiss.

"Anyway... A few minutes later, he was standing beside me, force fucking my face. God, he has a great cock, almost as big as yours. It's so thick and tasty. I can see why Bernadette keeps fucking him." Penny tells me, as I jerk off faster and faster, my cock twitching and throbbing, as I listen to Penny talk about her sex romp with her new boss. I can hear her gulp down her red wine, knowing how much she's turning me on.

"He threw me over his desk and pounded my pussy so good. I came three times. I rode his big dick in my ass, in his chair. I never let Leonard fuck my ass anymore, just you. It felt so good. I squirted twice more. I cam again in his mouth and he came all over my tits. I sucked him clean... then sucked him off, like I said earlier, cause he offered me a bigger salary than I was expecting. I love his cum. I told him Bernie and I are gonna double fuck him tomorrow. He's really excited about it... so are we. I'll make sure to film it for you sweetie. We can watch it while you fuck us both all night long." Penny giggles loud, licking her lips, smacking them hard, as she hears me cum all over my bed. Oh fuck yeah, I'll fuck those horny bitches all night long, any time, anywhere.

Tune in next time for Redneck Fuck Chronicles 02... More Big Banging Redneck Theory.