Shotgun blasts erupt into the night sky in Redneck Riviera Trailer Park. I bought the place and named it that. Very loud, powerful blasts fill the sky. Damn, I love shootin my shotgun. It's a stress reliever. My wife Bernie (Bernadette From The Big Bang Theory) might disagree with that though. She comes running out of our trailer, her hands over her pretty little ears. "JAMESSSSSSSSS!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Sweet little busty blonde beauty Bernie yells out.

"Just shootin at some birds baby doll." I answer. My side chick... one of em... Kat (Kat Dennings) hands me another beer. We're sitting on the roof of my trailer. My dorky cousin Ellsworth (Former WWE Superstar James Ellsworth) is up here too, loading my other shotgun.

Kat puts her sexy head on my shoulder and kisses my cheek. She's a sweetheart. She's got some big ass titties too, just like Bernie. Nothing finer than some sweet ass, big ass titties. Hot damn! Gotta love them titties! (Loud blast)... Shootin off my shotgun to that one.

I got a bunch of sluts I fuck. Pretty much all of em work for me too. I'm what the police call a drug dealer... (Loud shotgun blast)... and a full fledged, motherfuckin outlaw. A modern day Jesse James... but a redneck one. Probably why the damn story has its name. (Big redneck smile)...

I've found that hot sluts are especially good for a couple of things. Fuckin. Yeah, that's an easy one. They're also damn good for drug mules. Strap some yayo, or some weed, or smack on em, and them being hot, tends to distract the nosey motherfuckers from the drugs. The cops... or anybody else usually just stare at their titties or ass. I make sure my mules look their best and always show some skin. The more the better... without showin the damn drugs.

Back to my rooftop relaxation...

I hand Kat the shotgun. She grabs it like a natural and shoots at some damn birds. Motherfuckers always shittin on somethin. Pop a cap in their little asses. "Woohooo!!" Kat belts out. She loves to shoot.

Poor Bernie is still holding her ears. I invite her up. Bernie makes her way to the roof. I got a cherry picker I use by the trailer. She comes over and sits on my right. Kat is on my left. Ellsworth is behind us. He hands me the other shotgun. "Try it baby. It's fun." I tell Bernie. She nervously wraps her small hands around the powerful weapon. I put the butt against her shoulder and make sure the shotgun is straight and everything.

"SHOOT THEM. MOTHERFUCKERS BABE!" I encourage Bernie to shoot at the damn birds. She squinches her face and shoots. The force of the shotgun knocks Bernie back flat on the roof. We all laugh. I take the gun from her and kiss her.

"OWWWWW!! That hurt James!" Bernie tells me, a pained look on her gorgeous face. She rubs her shoulder. I laugh again, and help her up, putting my arm around her.

"I'm proud of you babe. You looked so damn hot with that shotgun in your hands baby. Big gun... and some BIG GUNS!" I squeeze Bernie big, natural titties and chuckle. She giggles. I love my big titty, high pitched voice wife. I fuck every other hot chick I can get my big ass dick in, but I still love her tiny ass. We kiss, drink some beer and relax, while Kat shoots at some more birds... and Ellsworth stares at us, half drunk. A fun evening at home.

...

Next morning, Kat, Ellsworth and I load up my pickup to take an order over to a long time customer. A famous one. Jennifer Aniston is a well known, under the radar drug slut in Hollywood. She and I have been doin business for a number of years. Since the second season of Friends, to be exact.

Ellsworth has a big crush on her, so he's all excited to go to her house again. I took him once before, but he made an ass out of himself... not hard to believe... so I stopped taking him. He's been begging me ever since to let him go again. I finally got tired of all the whining and begging, so I'm taking him again... and laying down the fuckin law... my law.

"Remember dude... If you fuck this up, I'm whoopin your ass real bad, firing you... and I'm gonna take you out to Compton, and drop your lily white ass off naked with a FREE ASS FUCKS sign painted on your back. DON'T FUCK THIS UP!!" I look right at his goofy ass with a dead serious scowl, and make it crystal clear.

"Yes sir. I promise I won't fuck it up James. I promise. Thank you again for letting me go back to Jennifer's house. I really appreciate it. I promise I won't embarrass you. You got my word." Ellsworth nods repeatedly, trying to earn my trust.

"I'll have your damn ass if you fuck up again!" Ellsworth is a bumbling fool, but he's my cousin, so I look after him. He's a good mindless lackey too, so he earns his keep.

"Damn daddy, is this for me?" Kat asks, kissing me, smiling deviously, her hand wrapped around my big dick in my green camo pants.

"Damn right baby... and Nia too." I respond. I'm taking my security bitch, WWE Superstar Nia Jax. I met her a couple of years ago. I hired her to protect my investment. She's 270 pounds of fine ass, Samoan ass kicking pussy. She can fuck your brains out and kick your ass... my kinda woman.

"Uh oh Ellsworth. Nia's coming along, so you better be on your best behavior." Kat teases Ellsworth. She enjoys that... so do I. Nia has slapped Ellsworth around a few times when he's gotten out of line, so he's scared to death of my big Samoan security slut. He looks around, all worried and shit.

"Huh? I'll be good. I promise. I mean it." Ellsworth almost pisses his pants. Kat and I laugh and make out.

Bernie had to go to work early, so she isn't here to send me off. She works with her best friend... and one of mine too, Penny (Penny From The Big Bang Theory). They work at a drug company... the legal kind of drugs... not my kind. I do get some freebies from Bernie... and Penny, so I sell em... under the table... and we split the profits.

Penny is married to a physicist named Leonard. He's a dork. A big comic book guy. I dig superheroes too though, so we have that in common. We both also fuck Penny, so that's two things we have in common, so far.

I met Bernie when she was dating a real annoying geek named Howard. She dumped him, when we got serious. He married one of Leonard's exes, Priya. She's Howard's best friend Raj's sister. I fuck her too. Some sweet Indian pussy for sure. She only married Howard cause she lost a bet to him, and she owed him a lot of money. Ha. Dude's clueless about his hot wife. She's too damn hot for him anyway.

Anyway...

"AH HA!! GOT YA YOU LITTLE WEASEL!" Nia sneaks up behind Ellsworth and gets him in a choke hold... a playful one... to bust his balls.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!! DON'T KILL ME!! I'LL BE GOOD... I PROMISE!!" Ellsworth breaks down in fear, and starts crying. We all bust out laughing.

"Idiot." Nia lets him go, grinning deviously.

Ellsworth checks his neck, to make sure it's still attached. He does crack me up, I'll give him that.

We all get in the truck. Me, Kat and Nia in the front... and Ellsworth in the back. I burn some rubber, makin redneck donuts on the dirt and rocks outside my front yard. "YEE HAWWWWW MOTHERFUCKERS!!" I yell, in all my redneck ecstasy.

"YEAHHHHH!!" Kat chimes in.

"HELL YEAH!!" Nia adds.

They cheer me on, as I tear up the roadway in between the trailers. Dirt, dust and rocks flying. Ellsworth holds on for bear life in the back of the truck, almost falling out of the truck twice. Nia laughs her ass off at his predicament. Kat raucously cheers me on, then looks back at Ellsworth and starts laughing like crazy too. It's fuckin fun givin his annoying ass a hard time.

I floor it and speed out, leading to near spill out number three for my goofy cousin in the back. Hangs on to the lights for dear life. It's real sturdy, so he's fuckin fine.

"Hand us a few beers dude." I tell my cousin, once he calms down. He catches his breath, shaking his head and gets the beers from my special cooler in the bed of the truck. Ellsworth hands us four beers through the window. I give him a nasty look... so he hands us another four. Damn right... beer is king around here. Some Jim Beam on the side too. Ellsworth pops open a can for himself, drinking to calm his nerves.

We down the beers up front. Nia downs two at a time, like me. Sweet Kat downs one... spilling some of her cleavage. I drive, while I lick it all up, motorboatin those mag fuckin nificent melons... BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! HA. Driving 100 mph... sometimes faster, and motorboatin beer from your girls cleavage is a true talent. Redneck multitasking at its finest.

We get to Jennifer's house and I remind Ellsworth about what I said earlier. He assures me he will obey my wishes and not be an annoying goofy ass fool... or in other words, his normal self. Nia stress him down, making it clear she will be watching him very closely. Ellsworth swallow hard, trembling in fear of me and Nia. I do enjoy making him uncomfortable. Ha.

I get Ellsworth to bring in the box of goodies for my old pal. I ring the doorbell and Jennifer dazzles me when I see her answer it. Wow!! Still looking perfect. She's got on a black spandex workout outfit. It melds to her slim and trim, and very beautiful body perfectly. Her long, dirty blonde hair is out, halfway down her back. Mmmm mmmm! Daddy's gonna have to get some of this sweet ass Hollywood pussy today.

"Jamesssssss. I've missed you baby. How have you been, sexy man?" Jennifer greets me, hugging me tight, kissing me too.

"Great baby. Damn, you look good." I look over my longtime friend, closely checking out her smooth, supple curves. Jennifer's been on vacation for the last month, so I haven't seen her. She gave me a call when she got back into town.

We all head inside and relax in Jennifer's relaxation room, as she calls it. It's a damn room with a big white bed, a couple of comfy white chairs and a big ass, very furry white rug. Comfy as hell. Ellsworth is in a chair smoking some weed, while the rest of us are on the rug, passing a big ass, gold bong around. Kat and I start kissing. Jennifer and Nia talk... and Ellsworth... is Ellsworth. He sits in a big white chair and does his creepy thing.

I brought Jennifer some coke, along with the weed... and some meth too. She's a hardcore druggie. She does a great job of hiding it though.

A few minutes later...

Jennifer is sucking on my cock, and hittin her bong too. That smoke feels so fuckin good on my big ass, twitching cock. Kat is biting my rock hard nipples and Nia is sucking my big, meaty balls. Ellsworth is staring... and taking pictures. He knows what to do to keep his job.

Jennifer's lips glide easily down my fat dick, aided by her saliva. "Mmmmmmmmm. Such a delicious cock." Jennifer comments. My lips curve upward. I light a fat blunt and lean back, smokin, enjoying all the attention on me. Three sexy mouths working me over. God damn, I love my life!

I enjoy the triple blowjob, as Kat chews on my thick shaft, as Jennifer sucks hard on the head and Nia engulfs my meaty balls. I also enjoy Ellsworth staring, wishing he was me. I get off on other dudes wanting to be me. It's a big fuckin thrill.

Jennifer rides me, while Kat and Nia suck her small, very perky tits, all three sluts staring me down. I play it cool, blow some smoke and wink at em. Jennifer's cunt grips me so tight, pumping my fat dick so fuckin good.

I blow smoke all over Kat's 34DDs, then lick em like a thirsty cat, then suck em like a big tit hungry redneck. Ha. Those fat nipples throb in my mouth, as I suck em incredibly hard, leaving nipple hickies on em. Kat hugs me to her titties, as Nia pulls my cock out of Jennifer's cunt and sucks Jennifer's cum off of it. Nia can suck the chrome off a couple of bumpers and she goes to town gobbling up my fat white rod.

I booty bang Nia, who rubs her pussy insanely fast, as my redneck rod pummel up her tight poop chute. She squirts all over me and Jennifer laps it all up, while I keep dining on Kat's awesome melons.

I finish by booty banging Jennifer, slapping that sweet, firm ass, my big ass cock slam bangin up her anus like Godzilla rampaging through Tokyo. "I'M CUMMMMMMMINGGGGGGGG AGAINNNNNNNNNN!!" Jennifer blast me with her sweet cream. Kat licks up every drop, looking right at me, winking, turning her man on big time.

I pump Jennifer Aniston's ass full of super cum. Thick, creamy and sweet as honey. I pull out and Kat and Nia share booty cleaning duties. They both suck out every thick drop of sperm in Jennifer's wrecked ass. Then they turn their attention to me, sucking me clean, dry and happy.

I feed em both a huge load of piss. Jennifer joins in, all three sluts taking a piss facial, then sucking me in, drinking down my warm urine cocktail. I just smoke, smile and love every fuckin second.

Poor Ellsworth is disappointed Jennifer didn't suck him off or something. I shrug my shoulders. "Hey Jennifer... can you give ol Ellsworth there a pair of your panties or something? He's got a bug crush on you and his pouting is getting on my nerves." I laugh.

"Oh really? Umm... OK James. Anything for you." Jennifer gets up and goes to her bedroom. She comes back and throws Ellsworth a biege thong of hers. He catches it, grinning his goofy ass off. He smeels it, then looks at me and quickly puts it down, not wanting to piss me off... or Nia.

"Thanks baby." I thank Jennifer.

She comes over and kisses me, stroking my happy cock. "Anything for you baby." Jennifer says, licking my lips. She takes my blunt and takes a deep, heavy toke on it. She softly blows the smoke into my mouth and kisses me, sharing the smoke with me. I dig this broad.

"If you hang around, Courteney is coming over. I hear she's extra horny too. She's a slut anyway." Jennifer comments, smoking, then sharing the smoke with me with a kiss.

I decide to hang around. Courteney Cox is one of my favorite sluts. I love her body... and she loves my big dick... and drugs, so we make a real good match.

...

Over at Bernie's office...

"This job is getting to me Penny. My boss keeps begging to fuck me and all the board members too. It's a pain just coming in to work." Bernie frustratingly tells Penny, as they have some coffee and relax.

"Have fun with it. You've got all those cocks at your disposal Bernie. Have fun. James has his fun, so have yours. Leonard doesn't know what I do here." Penny tells her busty blonde friend, sipping some coffee and raising her eyebrows at her. Penny is well known at the office for being a very "cooperative" employee.

"Besides... it's not like you haven't already fucked your boss. It's how you got the job in the first place. Me too." Penny being Penny.

"I know, but that was a while ago... and I never told James about that." Bernie says, in her sweet, soft, high pitched, adorable voice.

"Well... don't tell him now. It's food for your career. Besides... he's out there fucking every pussy he can get that big, beautiful dick into. God... it's beautiful." Penny smiles.

"I know Penny. He's my husband." Bernie sips her coffee, holding the cup in both, small hands and debates whether she should give in to her boss' urges to help her job security or not.

"So you never told Leonard about Mark (their boss)?"

"Oh God no. Leonard is so jealous and paranoid. He would have a fit. I've never told him about James either... or any of the others. I mean... I love Leonard, but I have needs... and he can't satisfy them. So, I just keep that info to myself... and everything is cool. We have a happy marriage." Penny smiles bright, proud of her handling of her marriage.

"You're so bad Penny." Bernie giggles.

"I sure am. I'm a baddddd girl. Rawrrrr." Penny says, playfully. "I've also got a meeting with Mark in about twenty minutes, so..." Penny unbuttons two buttons on her white and black zebra striped, silk blouse. She also reaches under her very short black mini skirt and pulls her black thong off, putting it on Bernie desk.

"There. I'm ready now." Penny shakes her eyebrows at Bernie and the two blonde hotties share a laugh, finishing their coffee.

...

Courteney Cox and I share some yayo in Jennifer's master bathroom. We snort a couple lines each off of a small mirror, using a hundred dollar bill to snort it.

Nia is in the den, strapon fucking Kat while Ellsworth jerks off with Jennifer's thong that she gave him. Jennifer is smoking her bong, watching the action.

"Hey Ells... whatever... come over here and eat my pussy while I hit this bong." Jennifer commands. Ellsworth almost passes out from shock. He jumps up... falls down, then gets back up... and runs over to Jennifer, so fucking excited to eat his dreamgirl's pussy. Ellsworth licks his lips as Jennifer spreads her supple, tan legs. He dives in, his face smooshed against that silky smooth, world class snatch.

"Slow down honcho. Make me cum." Jennifer directs him. Ellsworth snakes his tongue up her pussy and licks her out, darting his tongue across those slick pink folds. He rubs her perky clit, as he sucks her bald twat, slowly, then harder and quicker. His tongue quickly swabs at Jennifer's lush pink walls, lapping them clean.

"Mmmmmm. Good boy. I'm gonna cum. Wanna drink my pussy cum?" Jennifer asks my goofy ass cousin. He nods excitedly. Jennifer smiles, then puffs hard on the bong and cums. Her super sweet pussy convulses, shooting her cream right onto Ellsworth's tongue and into his mouth. Jennifer cums a lot and Ellsworth sucks it out and drinks it all down, making sure not to miss a sweet drop.

Nia slaps Kat's phat ass, driving the fake cock so damn deep up my girl's pussy. She grabs Kats hips and slams up her cunt, that huge rubber dick piledriving up Kat's super slick pussy with raw pussy destroying power. Kat squirts hard, her cum blasting out around the rubber dick, splattering Nia's sweet Samoan pussy. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! GODDDDDDDDDD!!" Kat screams out, as she cums incredibly hard.

Courteney and I are laid out in the bathtub, pissing on each other. She directs her yellow stream at my chest and stomach. I direct mine at her wide open mouth. We piss all over each other. Courteney drinks several mouthfuls of my warm piss, gulping it down with a happy smile. It splatters her gorgeous face too, just as her piss splatters my chest and stomach. God, I love piss.

...

Bernie is at her desk, thinking about what Penny told her earlier. She rubs her pussy under her desk, her pink minidress so short, it rides up to her hips, as Bernie rubs her bare pussy. She pulled her white thong to the side.

Bernie know I fuck around. It's like a not so secret agreement we have. She doesn't really fool around though. She fucked her boss to get her job at the drug company... and she's fucked a couple of neighbors when she's gotten drunk, but that's it. She sees herself as a good girl.

Bernie also knows Penny is upstairs right now taking Mark's big dick in her very horny holes, solidifying her own job security. Bernie tries to forget about all the sex for job security talk and gets back to work. A little later, Penny stops by her office again.

Penny knocks on Bernie's door and walks in. She's got a big smile on her face. "I take it, it went well." Bernie assumes.

"Oh yeah. Really well." Penny lifts her mini skirt and shows Bernie her cum dripping pussy. Penny wipes her soaked labia, then sucks her finger. "Really well." Penny winks at Bernie.

"Leonard called while Mark was fucking me, bent over his desk. It was so hot. So dirty. He pulled my hair and pounded my pussy, while I told Leonard I loved him. God... that's hot!" Penny bites her bottom lip, still so turned on by her office infidelity.

"One of the board members, Davis, came in. I sucked his old cock. His cum was watery, but good. I told him he could fuck my ass next time. He kept staring at it and squeezing it. I love this fucking job sweetie." Penny smiles and happily saunters out of Bernie office, her arms behind her back. Penny is right at home at the sex crazed drug company.

Bernie shakes her head, smiling and giggling at her best friend's nonchalant attitude towards workplace infidelity.

Stay tuned for episode 02... cumming soon... Will Bernie give in and cement her job security? How will things end up at Jennifer's house? Also, a very special appearance by a big titty legend... and some drug mule fun that'll blow your mind...