IT AIN'T EASY BEING SLEAZY... BUT IT SURE AS HELL IS FUN

"I like it babe. I think Spence (The King Of Queens) looks sharp." My wife and celebrity stylist Kim Kardashian gives her expert opinion of my goofball cousin's look.

He... like I... is a big fan of Leisure Suit Larry, the sleazy, wannabe ladies man, computer/video game character. Spence... along with a little convincing from me... decided to try wearing his Leisure Suit Larry... well... leisure suit. It's white. He's also got on a blue polyester shirt, unbuttoned past his chest, with a gold chain on and some blue loafers. He's got his retro, lounge lizard scented cologne on too. Ready to pounce on any and all potential notches on his belt of love. Yeah... that part isn't gonna be easy. Spence is awkward with the ladies. Just like ol Larry.

Kim giggles as she looks over my dorky cousin. He looks just like ol Larry Laffer, straight outta some cheap game. Spence is working it. He's feeling pretty good, determined to make this character work for him. I'm paying him to do it... for shits and giggles... to give me something to crack up about. We all like to bust Spence's balls anyway, so this is perfectly headed in that direction. Who knows... maybe he'll pull it off. If not, he made a few bucks and gave me some laughs, so it's a win win.

Kim notices Spence's bulge in his white polyester pants. "Looks like you're really into this, huh Spence?" Kim points at his bulge. Spence covers himself and acts surprised and embarrassed, but I correct him.

"Dude. You gotta play the character. Larry wouldn't get embarrassed by having an erection around a super hot babe. He's a ladies man. You gotta have some confidence. Be the character." I encourage him.

Spence thinks about it and decides I'm right. "Sorry. You're right James. I'm Larry Laffer. I'm Leisure Suit Larry. I'll be the character." Spence pumps himself up.

"That's right. Sleazy is the word dude." I smirk.

"Yes. Sleazy is the word." Spence agrees. Kim giggles again. She kisses my cheek and gets off our bed, only wearing a red, silk bathrobe.

"That's right Spence. Sleazy is the word. Here's some more encouragement." Kim adds, opening her robe, showing Spence her perfectly awesome nakedness. Spence stares, open mouthed. She closes her robe and ties it, then heads to the bathroom, as Spence gawks hard at her. I grin happily. I'm the king of sleazy fun, so this is right up my alley.

"Go in and watch her shower. Remember. Be the character." I tell Spence.

"You sure?" He asks, shaking his head, as his head clears from the awesome sight of Kim's naked body.

"Yep. Don't creep her out though. Be sleazy... not creepy. May the force be with you." I laugh. Spence heads to the bathroom to watch Kim shower, while I turn on the TV, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Ummm... James told me to come watch you shower. I hope it's OK Kim." Spence nervously says, looking at my perfect, naked wife in the shower, but trying not to stare too hard. Kim giggles again and points for him to sit on the bench in the middle of the floor. He does, ramping up his goofy, and quite sleazy, gawking at Kim, as she showers. She puts on a show for him, sudsing her big firm tits and awesomely perfect ass up nicely, noticing Spence's bulge is at it's largest and hardest in his pants. He's definitely enjoying the shower show.

Kim looks at Spence, licking her full lips slowly, cock teasing him perfectly. She keeps slowly rubbing the soap all over her perfectly curvaceous body, rubbing her hard clit over and over, the suds running down her legs, as the warm water cascades down her smooth, glistening skin.

Spence gulps hard, but remembers what I said about being the character, thinking about how Larry Laffer would react in this situation. He confidently smirks and rubs his bulge, unzipping his pants and pulling it out. Kim laughs and nods her approval. Spence has a very thick dick, only six inches long, but very thick. It jumps, as Spence grins a very Cocky, sleazy grin, watching Kim wash herself. Kim motions him over, still laughing at the whole scene.

Spence jumps up and struts over, really feeling the Leisure Suit Larry character. Kim opens the shower door. "Get the towel. You can help me dry off." Kim directs Leisure Suit Spence. He grabs the towel and starts drying off Kim. She steps out of the shower and holds her arms up, letting Spence dry her amazingly beautiful curves.

Spence gulps again, still trying to not break character. He feels Kim's firm DD breasts through the towel and takes a deep breath. Kim notices his excitement and laughs, shaking her head teasingly.

Spence moves further down Kim's body, drying her perfectly clean shaven oussy and worlds most perfect ass, taking his time, relishing every fun second. Kim notices Spence's fat weiner starts dripping slimey precum, proving how excited he is. She giggles, then takes the towel away from Spence.

"Thanks Spence. Nice cock by the way. Here... let me clean that up for you." Kim takes the towel and warps it around Spence's twitching, dripping manhood, slowly drying/jerking it off. Spence swallows hard, grinning a nice sleazy grin. Kim know full well how good Spence is feeling. She jerks... or dries... his cock faster with the towel. Spence just stands there smirking, loving the hand job. He licks his plump lips and groans in delight.

Kim speeds up, feeling Spence's impending cum. She squeezes the fat shaft and jerks it extremely fast. Spence's cock expands, as he grunts loudly, then pumps out his thick load into the towel. Kim laughs as she jerks out the whole slimy load, looking at that fat rod covered by the thick, soft towel.

When Spence finishes, smirking his ass off, Kim throws the towel in his face playfully. Spence jumps, the cum covered towel covering his sweaty face. He can feel the thick jizz rubbing on his cheek. Kim laughs. "There, sleazy guy. Now get outta here, so I can get ready." Kim heads over to the sink, as Spence pulls the towel off his face and struts out of the bathroom, happy, and in full Leisure Suit Larry character. Kim shakes her head in the mirror at Spence, giggling at his goofy ass.

...

Spence is not only my cousin and fellow Leisure Suit Larry afficianado, but he's also my friend, driver, assistant, personal cameraman and selfie taker, and all around lackey and yes man.

His mom, my aunt Roseanne (Herself) convinced me to hire him. I would've hired him anyway, but her blowjob and anal skills were much appreciated, so I hired him and let him live with me and my girls. I got aunt Roseanne pregnant too. She was gonna pay me, but we're family, so it was on the house. Spence watched me fuck his mom and filmed it for my site.

Incest vids are a big seller, and my site is full of em. I'm always fucking some family member, so I film it and get paid. Sleaze is king. It's the way I live and It's my motto. It ain't easy being sleazy... but it sure as hell is fun. (Cocky smirk)

...

Spence is driving me over to my redneck trailer park outside of Hollywood, up in the poor side of the hills, that I own. My pimped out, root beer Bentley with crème interior is very comfy and eye catching too. I've got four of em, different colors. It's good being rich. (Laid back, half high smile on my face)

My girl Queen Latifah is blowing me in the backseat. She's one helluva cock sucker. She's a dyke, but she loves blowing me. I love filming her fucking one of her bitches too... especially if my twelve inch white dick is stuffed up her phat black, lesbian booty at the same time.

I just lay back, smoke and smile, twelve inches of premium, fat white cock buried down that famous black throat, ready to cum dump any second. Nothing better than cumming in a bitch... and a famous lesbian bitch on top of that. Love it. Fucking love that shit!

Latifah tickles my fat balls and I feed her her favorite meal... my thick, sticky cum. My cock pulses and pumps out a heavy load of thick white sperm, right down her gullet. She quickly gulps it down with eager glee. "Mmmmmmmm. Feed me daddy." Latifah moans, as she drinks my creamy load. I take a deep toke of my fat blunt and smile. That beautiful feeling of your cock pumping a huge loaf of jizz down a famous chick's throat is absolutely mind blowing. Such a pleasurable sensation.

Queen Latifah drinks me dry, sucking me clean, massaging my huge balls as she goes. Her corn rowed head bobs on my super fat white dick, her throat wide open, jerking my cock off, as she sucks.

I hand the slut the blunt, when she finishes drinking me dry. She smokes, then kisses me, sharing the smoke with me. I fondle her huge titties, in her tight, brown tank top for a minute. I push the slut's slutty face back down on my bulging cock cause I have to piss. I start pissing in her mouth. Queen Latifah loves drinking piss, so she goes to town drinking me bone dry. She happily gulps down ten mouthfuls of warm yellow urine, jerking me off to get every drop out. Her hand barely fits around my massive meat. Her fingers lightly touch each other cause my cock is so thick. Black bitches go crazy for my massive white dick. All bitches do.

I squeeze them huge, chocolate titties while Latifah whorishly sucks me clean, licking and kissing all over my clean-shaven balls too.

I hand Latifah the bottle of Jack we've been sharing and she downs the rest. That bitch can party. I love a slut that can handle her liquor. She rolls down the window and tosses the bottle in the road. She smirks at me and blows me a slutty kiss. "Tastes good... but not as good as your cum or piss daddy." Latifah kisses me, as we laugh and I grope her huge melons.

...

At the trailer park...

"Dude... just relax and fuck who you want. It's impossible to not get laid here. Even for you." I explain to Spence. He's bugging me about being horny, and wondering if his Leisure Suit Larry gimmick will get over with the trailer park crowd. The park is filled with rednecks and slutty whores, so it's pretty fucking impossible to not get laid, so it's a good spot for Spence to cut loose.

I let Spence get on with his horny pursuits while I go and see one of my other cousins. Lisa Sparxxx is a huge titty, blonde milf pornstar and hooker. I hired her to be the manager of the trailer park. I head over to her office while Spence runs into one of my fuck buddies Bernadette (The Big Bang Theory). She works at the trailer park with her best friend, and one of my wives, Penny (The Big Bang Theory).

"Hey Spence... nice leisure suit." Bernie chuckles, teasing Spence about his get up.

"Hey Bernie. How are you baby?" Spence laying on his Larry Laffer charm.

Bernie starts to brush him off, shaking her head at his leisure suit and his cockiness, when she notices the thick bulge in his polyester pants. Bernadette is married to Howard (The Big Bang Theory). She loves her husband, but Howard has a small cock... and he's been out of town on business, so... Bernie thinks over her next move and decides to throw caution right into the trailer park wind.

"Well... I'm OK, but..." Bernie lays on her sweet charm, smiling, playing with her hair, her high pitched, soft voice so adorable. She's short, sweet, blonde and beautiful... with some sweet ass D cup titties.

"But what?" Spence gives the blonde beauty a cocky, quite sleazy grin.

"Howie's out of town and I'm kinda lonely." Bernie says in her sweetest, cock teasing voice, giving Spence an innocent, but slutty look.

Spence looks around, happily grinning, kinda surprisingly catching Bernie's vibe. They head off to a spare trailer I keep for a quick fuck spot.

...

Lisa takes a big dick up her phat ass better than just about anybody. She's had a lot of practice with anal, so she's taking all twelve inches of me relatively easily, as I have her bent over some boxes in the office trailer.

"FUCK MEEEEEEEEEE!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!! I'M GONNA CUM AGAINNNNNNNN!!" Lisa let's loose with a massive squirt, her pussy nut exploding out of her well used up cunt, splattering any and all people and things anywhere near her. I keep booty banging my sexy slut cousin, slapping the fuck outta her thick ass so many times it turns beet red. I grab her dirty blonde hair and yank, pulling her head back hard, plowing as hard as I can up her loose poop chute. Those huge, natural melons of hers flop wildly under her from the awesome force of my anal invasion.

I cum hard in Lisa's plump ass, over flowing it with cum... then immediately dousing it down with my warm piss. She loves for me to cum in her and immediately piss in her. I love it too. She's such a filthy slut. I dig that broad.

I lay over on Lisa's back as my piss pours out of my happy cock, cascading out of her blown out ass, down her thick legs and puddling on the blue carpet under us. I smile my ass off, loving every wet and warm second. I squeeze her huge jugs while I piss continuously. I close my eyes and we ride it out together, Lisa moaning happily as I lay on her and piss in and on her for what seems like hours. More like a couple of minutes though.

...

"YES!! YES YES YESSSSSS!!" Bernie screams out, riding Spence's fat, six inches on the cheap couch in the trailer. Spence sucks her 32D jugs, drinking down her mother's milk, as Bernie rides him hard, cumming all over his fat rod.

I make my way over to the trailer and walk in, smiling at the sight of my cousin and fuck buddy fucking. I walk over to Bernie and slip my half hard cock up her tight ass. Spence and I get into a DP rythym, double pounding the horny little blonde whore.

Spence dumps a thick load up Bernie's super slick pussy, then I dump one up her tight gripping ass. "FUCKKKKKKKKKK... I LOVE CUMMMMMMM!! YEAHHHHHHHH!!" Bernie screams out, cumming as we cum dump in her. It's a sleazy, cum fiesta inside Bernie... and we all fucking love it.

"Good job Leisure Suit Spence." I chuckle. It's my new nickname for my cousin.

"Yeah... good job Leisure Suit Spence. You too handsome." Bernie thanks us both, kissing me.

Spence just grins, proud of his new character and confidence. I look the situation over and come up with a new, sleazy idea. Oh yeah... oh fuck yeah...

To be continued in Leisure Suit Spence...